Page 64 of The Night We Met

In the three days since Kamryn walked away, I’ve felt like the world was at a standstill. I also felt forgettable. My dream of playing professional baseball is getting further and further out of my reach. Sarah says she’s made calls everywhere. They all say that I should start with a Farm Team. I know how grateful I am to get those suggestions. But none of them could guarantee me a spot in the big leagues.

My dreams are out of reach. And I have no one to blame but myself.

My life is falling apart. Instead of reaching out to the girl I love more than anything I’m letting it all slip away. I can’t make her happy if my dreams can’t come true. But letting her go seems impossible to do.

I’m losing everything. And I have no one to blame but myself.

I pull the shoebox down from the shelf in the back of my closet. Walking back to my bed I open it up. My life with Kamryn is in this box: our past, present, and future resides in this box. I pull out the ring box that’s been stashed in this box. I bought the ring over a year ago. We made strides but it was never the right time. I wasn’t where I needed to be in my life and that pushed her away. Now I don’t know if we’ll ever have a ‘right time’.

No matter how much work I put into myself, I don’t think it will matter.

I lost everything. And I have no one to blame but myself.

Kamryn

Do you ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach like something bad is about to happen? You have absolutely no idea what it is, but when that feeling comes true it all makes sense? It’s the timing of the inevitable that’s eventually going to move towards warp speed.

It’s been three days since me and Liam’s argument. Three days and not once have I seen his truck in the parking lot when I drive by to go to work. I haven’t talked to him. He also hasn’t reached out to me. That hurts more than I’d like to admit.

I’ve avoided going to all the cute little shops we would frequent together, knowing that he’d probably be there to talk to me. When I told him I needed space, I quite literally meant that I needed space. But everyone thinks we’re great together. Sure, we’ve had some good laughs and some intense moments. But every couple is different behind closed doors.

When I finally catch up with Emily and tell her all that’s happened, she’s just as shocked as I am. Emily and Ihave been friends since she moved to Philadelphia from New York in high school. But we got even closer once she started dating James, Liam’s best friend.

“He did not say that!?” Emily exclaims in surprise.

“He did. I know what I want. He wanted it too, but something changed with him. It’s like when his dreams failed mine should too. Am I overreacting? Am I being too hard on him?” It’s the questions that have been rolling around in my head for the last few days. But I need to voice them outloud.

“Kam, you know that boy adores you. I’ve talked to Liam and it looked like the stars were put in his eyes every time someone mentioned you. You also have a right to feel the way that you do.” Emily says as my phone rings with Liam calling.

For the first time in three days, my heart drops.

“It’s Liam.” His smiling face looks back at me as my phone is lit up.

“Answer it!”

“Hello.”

“Kamryn, you’re right. I feel like I’ve messed up everything with us!” Liam says and I hear the whooshing of cars and trucks going by. “Kamryn, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell man?!” James says in the background.

“Liam. What are you doing? Where are you? Is that James with you?” I’m now completely curious and a little nervous.

“You wanted space, so I think I’ll give it to you permanently.”

He’s so matter-of-fact about our break that it tears me up inside. “That’s not what I meant Liam, you know that. I don’t want it permanently.”

I hear the acceleration of his truck.

“Well, that’s what you’re getting Kamryn.”

“Liam, what are you doing?! That’s not what I want! Liam stop the truck!” I yell into the phone. Emily, sensing my fear, is gripping my hand and looking at me with wide eyes because her fiancé is in the truck as well.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore Kamryn. You’re done with me. You made that perfectly clear.” Liam cries into the phone.

“I’m not done with you Liam! I will never be done with you. I just wanted space…time to think. Time for you to think.” I say trying to plead with him to stop the truck.

“Hey, man.” James timidly started. “Why don’t you pull over and let me drive?”

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