“Because they would go after Royce or Cormac to get to me. So we ran, and we’ll keep running until we can find proof that I was set up. It was reckless of Royce and Cormac to seek the two of you out, but they probably went about it in the safest way possible. Royce already told me we’d be leaving the day after tomorrow. Us being here could put the two of you in danger, and as much as I want you in my life, I won’t put you in danger.”
My mind is blown. Obviously, I know hitmen exist, but it was kind of a vague thing that I never would’ve expected to touch my life. But one of the boys I grew up loving, kills people for a living. That should probably upset me more than it does, but the only thing that he’s said that actually upsets me is that someone is trying to kill him.
“That’s…a lot,” I finally murmur. “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you to live like that.”
Damon grins, while Parker snorts. “Really? That’s all you have to say after finding out I kill people for a living?”
“I bet our girl thinks it’s hot.”
He’s not wrong, but all amusement leaves me when Parker’s face falls.
“Neither one of you can be mine. I would’ve left Cormac and Royce if it hadn’t already been widely known that the three of us were together.” Parker rubs his eyes. “Maybe once this is all over, there can be something between us, but not until then. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, Parker. You’re not the one who did this.” Damon wraps his arms around the other man as his eyes meet mine. “Is this why you’ve been in a dark place?”
Parker attempts to jerk away from Damon, but he refuses to release him. “How do you know about that? They told you, didn’t they?”
“I have no idea what he’s talking about,” I admit. “But I think I’d like to know.”
Parker’s body tenses once more before relaxing into Damon’s hold. “A few weeks ago, they found me with a razorblade pressed against my arm. I had already cut myself and was bleeding. I had no recollection of doing it or of even going into the bathroom. It scared the shit out of all three of us. Sure, I’ve been depressed, but I would never—“
I lean over and kiss him when he breaks off. “If you’d been in your right mind, I’m sure you wouldn’t have. But you weren’t in your right mind, were you?”
“No. I wasn’t. I’m not sure I am now.”
“It’s okay to not be okay,” I tell him gently. “But don’t forget you have people who care about you who will be there for you. Even if Damon and I can’t be.”
I want to make him better, but I know that’s not something I can just do. That’s something that only Parker can do.
I don’t like that he won’t allow us to be a part of his life because of the hit on his head, but I get it. He doesn’t want to put us in danger, and yet, I can’t help wanting to argue with him about it. It’s not just his decision. It should be up to me and Damon ifwe want to keep him in our life—even if it could mean putting ourselves in danger.
Not that I want to be in danger. Hell, this is a world I know nothing about, but I don’t want to say goodbye to Parker.
Or to Cormac and Royce, if I’m honest with myself. There’s a connection between the five of us that can’t be ignored.
I don’t want to ignore it.
I want to see where this could go.
Call me selfish, but I’ve already lost my entire world more than once in my relatively short life, and I’m not ready to lose it again.
It’s not fair.
“I know,” Parker says with a sigh. “It’s just hard. I hate to worry them with my burdens when we’re on the run because of me.”
“But you’re not,” Damon argues. “You’re on the run because of the asshole who set you up. This isn’t a problem you caused. You’ve got to stop thinking about it like that.”
I nod. “Plus, something tells me that Royce and Cormac don’t think of anything about you as a burden. They love you. I’m glad you found them. You deserve that kind of love in your life.”
“So do the two of you,” Parker says as he leans over, laying his head on my shoulder. “What I wouldn’t give for things to be different. Yesterday, with the five of us, it just felt…right.”
I hum my agreement. “It did.”
Both of us turn our attention to Damon, who’s watching us with a smirk. “You’re not wrong, but if you feel that way, then why are you already trying to push us away, Parker?”
“I told you. I don’t want to put you in danger.”
Unable to hold my thoughts back any longer, I pull away so that Parker’s head falls off my shoulder. “Don’t you think that’s a decision for us to make? What gives you the right to make that decision for us?”