Page 94 of Kingmakers, Year One

“Well . . .” She smiles. “I literally live here. Up there.”

She points to the ceiling. I see a trap-door in the roof that appears to lead to an attic space nestled under the pointed peak of the tower.

“You sleep up there?”

“Best view on the island.”

“Lonely, though,” I say, without thinking. I only meant that it was the most distant and isolated part of the castle. But I regret my thoughtless comment when I see the flash of pain on Ms. Robin’s face.

“Yes,” she says quietly. “It can be.”

I returnto my dorm with my arms full of books, not bothering to be quiet since Chay must be awake by now. As I push my way through the door, I see the silhouette of someone standing by the window.

I drop my books down on the bed, saying, “Thanks for remembering to bring my speaker back, despite being maybe twenty percent conscious.”

“Chay’s not here.”

I spin around at the masculine voice. Dean is right behind me—freshly showered and shaved, wearing an immaculately-pressed dress shirt and trousers. He’s got his hands tucked in his pockets, and his pale blonde hair falls down over his left eye as he looks at me sheepishly.

“It’s me,” he says unnecessarily.

“Right.” I wish I still had my books to hold as a barrier between us. “I can see that now.”

“I was looking for you all day,” he says. “I figured you’d have to come back here eventually.”

“You’re not supposed to be in the girl’s dorms,” I remind him. “You’ll get yourself in trouble.”

“I think I’m already in trouble,” Dean says in his low voice.

That voice sends a shiver up my spine—half intriguing, half terrifying.

“Dean—“ I start.

“I know what you’re going to say,” he interrupts me.

“What am I going to say?”

“You’re going to tell me that last night was a mistake. That it only happened because you were upset with Leo.”

I look at him, lips parted, tongue still. I didn’t think he already knew that.

“I don’t care,” he says. “I want you anyway.”

I swallow hard. “Leo thinks you’re only interested in me because you want revenge on him.”

Dean gives me an intense look. “Leo’s a fucking idiot. He had you right next to him all those years, and he didn’t do a damn thing about it.”

After the beating my ego took last night, Dean’s words mean something to me. But I can’t eat it up just because it feels good. I have to be honest with him.

“Dean . . .” I say softly. “What I feel about Leo . . . it’s not a crush. It’s not something I can turn off. Even when I’m fucking pissed at him.”

“I don’t care,” he says again.

And now he crosses the space between us, covering the ground before I can blink, picking up my hand and holding it cradled in both of his, in front of his chest. I can feel the callouses on his palms from his endless hours of jump rope down in the gym. I see his knuckles, bruised and swollen from hitting the heavy bag with the cold, silent fire that lives inside of him.

“Just give me a chance,” he says. “One date, that’s all I’m asking. If you don’t want to be with me, I can’t make you. But give me a chance, at least.”

He looks at me with those eyes that are more purple than blue. His face is both stern and vulnerable. It’s a painfulcombination, one that’s hard to look at without dropping my gaze.

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