Page 88 of Kingmakers, Year One

I turn and peer through the darkness at a particularly dense stand of trees.

There’s Leo, slumped against the trunk of an almond tree, his head leaned back and his eyes half-focused on the leaves above.

Gemma is on her knees in front of him, hard at work on his cock. I can hear the wet sounds of her mouth, and I see her dark hair swinging as her head bobs up and down.

My stomach clenches so hard that I almost vomit right there on the sand. It takes all my strength to swallow it down.Everything I have to choke back the sob that wants to burst out of me.

The only thing I can think is,He can’t see me. Can’t hear me.

So everything I feel, a pain so heavy, so dense, so cold, so poisoned, has to be to swallowed down inside me where it bleeds through every part of me and spreads through every cell.

I’ve never been so disappointed.

Every step along the long, dark route to the castle, I fight not to cry.

13

LEO

I’m having the most incredible dream.

I won the final challenge in theQuartum Bellum. The whole school is swarming me, lifting me up on their shoulders, chanting my name.

I look out over the sea of people, and I see Anna standing there, looking up at me. Her blue eyes glimmer like stars. She’s smiling at me, she’s so fucking proud of me.

I push through the crowd to get to her, and I lift her up and spin her around. Her long hair swirls around her just like it does when she’s dancing.

I set her down and she looks up at me, the way she did when we were standing on the dark path on the way to the party. She has the same expression on her face—frightened, but hopeful. I can see that she loves me. I always knew she loved me. But this is something else—not the love of a cousin or a friend. This is the love of a soulmate. Of a woman who wants me as badly as I want her.

I kiss her, just as I imagined doing earlier in the night. I touch those soft, warm lips with mine, and I taste her sweetness.

I slide my hand down the small of her back. I wrap my arms around her.

And then everyone around us disappears, because Anna is pulling me away, she’s leading me by the hand, pulling me into the woods. Her fingertips trail down my chest, down my stomach, lightly touching the button of my jeans. She’s doing what I fantasized that night in my bed. This time, I don’t have to feel shame and guilt, because I’m aware it’s only a dream, even though it feels so real.

She pushes me up against the tree, then drops to her knees in front of me. I feel her soft hands fumbling with the button of my jeans, and she pulls down the zipper to let my cock spring free. She’s closing that warm, wet mouth around my cock . . .

I’m looking up at a lattice of leaves and branches, with pinprick stars beyond. But the stars aren’t stationary, they’re spinning around and around my head, which is making me feel dizzy and sick.

Anna’s mouth feels good on my cock, but the rest of me doesn’t feel good at all. My head is heavy, and my stomach is churning. I don’t seem to have control over my arms and legs. My hands are hanging loose at my sides and my head flops against my shoulder.

I hear a wet, repetitive sound like a dog licking me.

My cock isn’t hard anymore, I feel too sick.

“Is something wrong?” a voice says.

I flop my head forward so I can look down.

A strange face is peering up at me. Not Anna’s face—this girl has black hair, not blonde, and her eyes are darker than Anna’s. They’re flat and glittering in the near-darkness. She looks spooky, crouched down there looking up at me with her face all wet and her makeup all messy.

“What are you doing . . .” I mumble.

“What do you mean what am I doing?” the girl giggles. “What do you think I’m doing?”

She grabs my limp cock and puts it back in her mouth. She’s sucking and slurping on it, trying to bring it back to life. It feels like I’m being eaten alive.

“Knock it off.” I try to push her away.

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