Page 154 of Kingmakers, Graduation

The inside of the brewery looks like the interior chambers of a heart—burned, blackened, ruined …

This is how much I hurt her.

Now she’s hurting me in return.

Back at the house,Chief, Andrei, Hakim, Vlad, and Jasper argue in the kitchen, a babble of conflicting ideas and warnings.

“We need a supplier?—”

“We could go back to Kovalenko?—”

“Fuck no?—”

“The Chechens could sell to us, temporarily?—”

“It’s a month at least until we’re up and running again?—”

“Not if we?—”

“That’s not possible?—”

“But what if?—”

I push past all of them, heading upstairs.

“Where are you going?” Jasper calls.

“Gonna lay down for a minute.”

I hear the silence as they stare at my back, then the shuffle as they all cast looks at each other. Confused. Wondering what’s wrong with me.

I head up the stairs alone.

It’s pointless to talk this over with them—I already know what needs to be done. We’ll have to take on a new partner. The options are few and I hate all of them, but there’s no other choice—we’ll burn every bridge we’ve built if we can’t get our product out on time.

I lay down on my bed, hands clasped behind my head, looking up at the ceiling.

I wonder what Sabrina’s doing right now, at this moment?

I don’t believe for a second that she’s satisfied with burning the lab. She took that equipment because she’s going to start cooking drugs again.

“If we went head-to-head you’d learn a thing or two about what I can do …”

That’s what she shouted at me right before she left.

We were both yelling, both angry. I lost my mind for a minute, I didn’t mean any of it.

But Sabrina did.

She’s always been more honest than me.

I thought she’d cool off and come right back again. Now I realize this is only the beginning. She sees me as her enemy, her rival. Her betrayer.

I asked her to jump, I promised that I’d catch her … then I let her slip through my arms and fall …

She’s been gone twenty-four hours. Every minute that passes is a spoon scooping into my guts, digging out another piece of me. There’s a hole in my chest, a deep hollow … if I lose anymore, I might collapse.

I miss her. I fucking miss her.

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