Page 54 of Kingmakers, Graduation

“Because you’re the boss.”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t want to be your soldier. I want freedom, not a new master.”

“You’ll be my partner.”

I make an impatient hissing sound. Everyone knows when there’s a king and a queen, the final word comes from the king.

“Let me show you,” Adrik says, enclosing my hand in his much larger one. “Come to Moscow. See what it’s like.”

I try to pull my hand back, but he won’t let me. Without even trying, he holds me trapped.

“I can’t just roll up to Kingmakers a week late. If I miss the ship, I miss the year.”

He won’t stop looking at me, he won’t give me an inch of space.

“Come with me. You won’t regret it.”

But I might. How can I know?

“Come with me.”

He overpowers me like a wave. He wants to swallow me up in him, to make us one and the same.

Fighting his pull is miserable. I’m in physical pain.

I want to cry with frustration, with confusion, but I won’t let myself, never, never, never.

Instead I fling myself on him. I silence him with my mouth. I show him with my body how badly I want him, how wild he makes me. I straddle his lap, ripping off my clothes and his, not caring who might drive in here, or who might see us.

Adrik responds as I knew he would—pulling up my skirt, tearing my underwear, shoving his cock inside of me. Letting me know that he understands our purest, truest communication is always our bodies together, giving in to what we both want with equal passion, equal need.

We can never be misunderstood when we’re in each other’s arms. Our words could never match our bodies. This is what’s real, this is what matters.

I fuck him in the scent of leather and gasoline, the blood-red sun beating on the dashboard, glinting off the chrome dials and the sparkling glass.

This is where I want to be. I’d trade my whole life for this moment, and I’d trade this for nothing, not anything that exists.

In this moment we are one person, we are one thought. And the thought is this:

This is right, I’m supposed to be with you. I don’t care about anything else. I don’t care what I believed before I met you, or what I planned. You smashed what I was and you made me something new.

Is it love or is it madness?

I accept either one.

My climax is a rush of chemicals and light, my body an engine and Adrik the fuel. We burn and burn and burn together.

When it’s over I cling to him for hours, until the sun sinks all the way down, the air cold, my fingers chilly against his warm neck. I curl up against him like a child. All I want is his arms around me forever.

We drive home slowly,trying to stretch out each moment. I haven’t given him my promise, but I want to. The words are in my throat, waiting to be spoken aloud.

As we near the entrance to the long, winding driveway up to the Petrov house, I see a car parked at the side of the road. Right where the mailbox would be, if it weren’t blocked by the front wing.

My heart stops in my chest.

The street lamps are far apart on this lonely stretch of road. The man stands in shadow, his face indistinguishable. Still, the lean body is all too familiar to me. Even if I could see nothing of him, the vehicle itself is too distinct to mistake.

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