“He’s not looking for a sugar baby. Here, Chief—this should be your profile pic.”
She points to one of Chief working on his bike, his coveralls down around his waist, only an undershirt on his upper half, his hair messy and grease all up his arms.
“I’m dirty,” Chief protests. “I look like a scrub.”
“You look competent,” Sabrina insists. “Look at your hands, your forearms …”
“Forearms!” Andrei scoffs.
“You’re gonna get swiped by girls who want to be touched,” Sabrina says, ignoring Andrei.
“I’m wearing my glasses. Glasses aren’t popular in Russia.”
“You look intelligent. You gotta be yourself on dating apps. There’s no point trying to look like one thing and showing up as another.”
“He won’t get any matches as himself,” Andrei warns.
“What do you know?” Sabrina snorts. “I haven’t seen you go on one date since I’ve been here.”
“I’m busy.”
“Yeah, busy losing to Hakim inDr. Mario.”
“I don’talwayslose,” Andrei says with dignity.
“What’s your caption?” Sabrina says, turning back to Chief.
“It says, ‘If you want to get to know me then ask.’ ”
“That’s terrible.”
Chief grimaces. “I was trying to be mysterious. I don’t know what to write.”
“You need to write the line that gets you what you want. The right bait for the right fish. You don’t want just any girl—you want the right girl. That’s why it’s best to be genuine all along. How about …’Match with me and I’ll make the first move.’ ”
“What girls will that get?”
“Curious ones. I know how funny you are on your keyboard. Go through their profile, find something interesting about them, come at these girls like you know them, the way you text me. You’re the funniest person in our group chats.”
“That’s true,” I back her up.
Chief is far more confident through text than in person. Sabrina is smart to compliment his strengths—it’s what I would do. In fact, itiswhat I do when I’m trying to build him up.
“Not in person, though,” Chief sighs.
Sabrina says, “Let them meet the best you first. Here, show me your matches.”
Chief shows her the only girl who’s swiped right on him: a nervous-looking blonde whose profile pic is mostly the giant black cat sitting on her lap.
“Okay, so look through her pics,” Sabrina says. “What do you think she wants you to notice in this picture?”
She points to an image where the blonde girl is standing under a tree in Gorky park, wearing a red summer dress with buttons down the front.
“She looks … pretty,” Chief says.
“That’s good,” Sabrina encourages. “But let’s compliment more than her looks—let’s compliment her taste. Something like,I bet when girls think they want to wear a pretty red dress, this is what they picture in their heads.You’re telling her that she’s stylish and iconic. That she created a moment. That other girls would admire her if they saw this pic.”
“Alright …” Chief says, typing out the message.