Page 103 of The Best of Friends

“You’re taking it wrong. You know you can’t be with David. Whatever is going on between the two of you is just a game to him. Practically a joke. It was never going to be serious.”

If Jayne were smart, she would get a big, fatLtattooed on her forehead.Lfor loser, as a reminder. She would see it every morning and know that her relationship with any member of the Worden family, but especially with Elizabeth and Rebecca, was a party for one.

They weren’t friends. How many times did she have to have that information thrown in her face before she would believe it? Why was she so damned slow? Rebecca Worden was not her friend and had never been her friend.

A friend was someone who loved you. A greeting card sentiment based in truth. Love meant giving more than receiving. Loving someone was about wanting the best for the other person—something Rebecca would never understand and had never practiced.

“You’re great,” Rebecca continued, “totally wonderful. Just not for him. You’d never fit in. You know that, right? The parties, the social thing. You hate that. You wouldn’t know what to say or how to dress. Mom would make your life a living hell, and eventually she would wear David down. He’s not strong enough to stand up to her. Am I making sense?”

“Every word is crystal clear.”

Rebecca smiled. Actually smiled, as if they were connecting on an important level. “You’re so important to me. I really care about you and your happiness. And David is not the guy to make you happy. This is better. You know that, right? Plus, hey, if you two fall for each other, where does that leave me?”

Jayne was pretty sure Rebecca meant that last comment as a joke, but it was the first honest thing she’d said.

“I’m doing this out of love,” Rebecca added.

“Interesting,” Jayne said slowly. “It’s not how I define love, but I’m not like you, so what do I know?”

“Are you mad?”

“No, I wouldn’t say mad defines how I feel. Disappointed works. I also feel very foolish. I still remember the first day we met, when I was wearing your hand-me-downs. I was terrified you were going to make fun of me and let everyone know I was the daughter of a housekeeper. But you didn’t. You talked to me and were nice, and I was so grateful. Too grateful, because I didn’t see you for who you really are.”

Rebecca bristled. “I’ve been a damned good friend.”

“Better than I deserve?” Jayne asked, raising her eyebrows. “Let me rephrase that. Better than someone like me deserves?”

Rebecca pressed her lips together.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jayne said. She supposed this was like ripping off a bandage. Better to do it fast and get all the pain over with at once.

“You liked hanging out with me because it made you feel better about yourself,” she said. “I was dependable. I understood.”

“You’re not the martyr in this,” Rebecca told her. “You got plenty out of our friendship. You lived in the big house like real rich people; you pretended my parents were yours, too. You like living on the fringes, Jayne. It makes you feel you belong without all that messy responsibility. You can come and go as you please, bad-mouthing us when we don’t live up to your standards. It’s easy to be critical when you’re always on the outside.”

“Do you think that’s where I wanted to be?” Jayne demanded. “Do you think the vacations and used clothes were worth it? Does it occur to you I would have preferred a ratty one-bedroom apartment with my mother than living in that big house with you? I had no one. Yes, I pretended you were my family because the alternative was to be totally alone. I accept responsibility for that. Somehow I allowed myself to get sucked into a relationship with your family. My mistake was not ending things long ago.”

A mistake she had paid for in blood, she thought grimly. “Somewhere along the way, I decided that being alone was the worst thing in the world. That I would do anything to be one of you. It was never about the money, although I don’t expect you to believe that.”

“Of course it was about the money,” Rebecca told her contemptuously. “You loved being able to say you knew me, knew my family. It gave you power with your other friends. Something special that they didn’t have.”

Maybe she was right, Jayne thought sadly. Maybe she’d needed the Wordens to feel special.

“My goal was to belong,” Jayne said quietly. “To be a part of something, in whatever form that took. At some point, I sold out who I was for that connection. I’ll take responsibility for my actions. I gave too much of myself for too little. Which is why I’m leaving. Because I need a clean break.”

“Oh, please.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. “You’re not interested in a clean break. You want to trap David into marrying you. Are you going to fake a pregnancy?”

There it was—the end point. With her words came pain, but no real surprise. Only sadness and regret. A list of “might have beens.”

“You’ve known me since high school,” Jayne said. “You’ve seen me at my worst and my best, and yet you ask that question? You’re right—the rich are different. There’s a lot less character development. You don’t have to bother with it because you don’t have anything to earn.”

Jayne stepped around the other woman and opened her car door. She got in. Rebecca stared at her for a long time, then walked away. A few seconds later, a midnight blue Mercedes sped past and she was gone.

Jayne dropped her head to the steering wheel and gave in to the tears burning in her eyes. She cried for what was lost. For a friend who was no more. But mostly she cried for what she’d never had at all.

Still puffy and feeling more than a little broken inside, Jayne drove to Beverly Hills and found a parking space right in front of the Worden store. It was a miracle, or maybe just a sign. Either way, she was going to finish up things with the rest of the family and then be done. In three short weeks, she would be moving to Texas. Better to break things off cleanly now, she told herself.

Once inside, she told one of the sales associates that she was there to see David. Less than a minute later, he came through the showroom and walked toward her.

---