Page 77 of Darn Knit All

“See you tomorrow, contestants!”

With a long sigh, I switched off my microphone, handing it over to my handler.

“Where’s Mai?” I asked, my voice low.

“Dressing room. She’s….” He shook his head. “Not great.”

“Are they recording her?”

“No.” He glanced around, then leaned in, his voice low. “I told them her microphone had fucked up. They agreed to let her end the day early rather than deal with swapping it out.”

I clasped his shoulder. “Thanks, Greg. I appreciate your discretion.”

“No problem. My brother lives with anxiety. I recognize the signs.” He nodded at someone over my shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

Using my crutch, I made my way to the dressing room, my steps echoing in the empty hallway. Pushing open the door, I found Mai sitting on a stool, her head bowed, hands fidgeting with a loose thread on her pants.

“Hey,” I said softly, leaning against the doorframe. She looked up, her eyes tired.

“Hey,” she replied, a hint of a smile touching her lips.

I walked over and sat beside her, stretching my legs out in front of me and placing my crutch on the floor. Turning, I gave her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. “You did great today, you know that?”

Mai let out a shaky breath. “I feel like I’m falling apart. This competition is so much harder than I thought.”

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed,” I reassured her. “But remember why you’re here. You have a gift, and you deserve to showcase it.”

She nodded slowly, but still clearly unsure. “It’s just....” Tears shimmered on her lashes. “I don’t know if I can do this, Theo. Everything is just so intense. Every time I feel like I’m on top of it, they throw something new at us and I become—” She gestured at herself.

“Perfect?”

She shook her head, not even summoning a laugh. “I’m a hot mess.”

I pulled her head against my chest, holding her tight against me. “You’re not.”

“I am.”

“Fine. You are. But so what? Aren’t we all hot messes?”

She tilted her head back to look up at me. “No. You’re completely together.”

“If you believe that then I’m doing a better job at pretending than I anticipated. Feeling your emotions isn’t a bad thing. For a long time post the crash I struggled to feel anything but anger.” I looked down at our clasped hands. “We’re told by society to be meek and mild and gentle. To hold space for our emotions but only show them in private—or at a ball game. We’re judged if we cry too much or not enough. We’re told to not burden people but to admit when we need help. You know what? I’m fucking sick of it.”

I looked down into her stunning brown eyes. “Just be you, Mai. And if the you you need to be right now is a crying, sobbing wreck of a human being, so be it. I don’t care. You’re still going to be one of the best people I know—snotty nose and all.”

She stared at me for a beat. “Theo?”

“Yeah, babe.”

“I’m going to squeeze you right now.”

I pulled her closer. “Squeeze as long as you want.”

And there in the quiet of the dressing room, the little box that had contained my feelings for Mai began to fracture.

CHAPTER 11

---