“Your dad had a history of being a not great guy?”
He nodded. “That’s one way to put it. Guy had never heard of the word ‘responsibility.’”
He winced as I touched a sore spot but continued. “I don’t know if you remember, but I played ball in school. And I was good, really fucking good. We’d just won a game, and I’d been scouted. Everything was falling into place. Except Gramps had to go home early, and Linc needed our truck. I’d called him, but he never picked up. Instead of waiting, I accepted an offer from Walter. He’d been at the game.” He shook his head. “I could smell the alcohol on him, but I’d thought, ‘how bad could it be?’” He gestured to his leg. “That bad. He crashed us into a pole, rolled the truck, and walked away completely unscathed.”
“I’m sorry.”
He sighed heavily. “He’s been sober for three years. And my guilty secret is, I fucking hate it.”
I could hear the pain in his voice, see the tension and confusion in his face. “Why?”
“It’s hard to hate someone when you respect them.”
My heart ached for him. “You want to forgive him.”
“Yeah.” He closed his eyes. “He’s good with the grandkids. Trying really hard to avoid using again. Which is another level of head fuckery for me.”
“Because he didn’t try when you got hurt?”
Theo’s gaze met mine, a million unspoken emotions floating in their depths.
“Yeah.”
I worked his leg, easing my way back down toward his knee. “Is there anything I can do?”
He shook his head. “No, I just… Days like today, when I’m in pain, it makes me want to rage at him. But I can’t, you know? ’Cause he’s trying to turn his life around. And I need to respect that effort.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t be upset.”
“Mm.” He sighed, then reached down to still my hand. “I’m good, Mai. Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
I cleaned up the cloths and lotion, and turned off the lights. Climbing into bed beside Theo, I felt like I’d managed to remove a little of the burden that had weighed him down.
“Thank you for sharing,” I whispered into the dark.
His hand found mine under the blankets. “Thank you for understanding.”
Smiling, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER 10
THEO
Theo
Do you know if there’s an app for only fans?
Mai
As in the app literally called ‘OnlyFans’??
Theo
No, I mean for hand fans. As in an app that celebrates the subtle skill of those who wield a hand fan
Mai