Page 62 of Misadventures With My Fake Fiancé

I looked around Veronica's shoulder and waved to Old Mr. Chalmers. He was my nosy neighbor, burglar alarm and cranky old man rolled into one. Fortunately for me, he carried a shotgun around the house loaded with bird seed. It would do in a pinch if I ever had to scare off a robber. Not that it would ever happen in Bozeman.Nothinghappened in Bozeman. At least to me. Jane had that crazy guy want to marry her. Then kill her. Veronica had my school principal's crazy wife Lorraine stalk her last winter. In comparison to them, I was dull.

I walked into the house, plopped myself back onto my couch, let Goldie and Veronica join if they wished. They did.

“You look terrible,” Veronica told me.

I gave her the evil eye and chose not to respond because I couldn't disagree. I hadn't showered since Alaska, my hair was a ratty mess, I wore no makeup and I had on my frayed sweats. There was no doubt I smelled. At least like the cheese puffs I had for breakfast.

Goldie, of course, filled the void. “Are you ready for the latest from Alaska?”

My heart skipped a beat thinking she referred to Mike, but he wasn't there. He was in New York. Any stories about Alaska would be Mike-free. Enough had happened in the five days I was there. What else could happen since I'd left? “Sure.”

“Jean-Luc and Marc were a little mopey after they found out you're having Mike's baby and all.”

That was an understatement. I only had to translate for them that one time, and come to think of it, was never in the same room with them again. They had avoided me so successfully I never had a chance to say goodbye.

“I think they were really hoping they'd find The One on the trip. They thought it was you.” She winked at me, and then continued. “I don't like to meddle into other people's relationships, but?—”

“Goldie,” Veronica scolded.

I started laughing. It actually felt kind of good to use my facial muscles. “No way, Goldie, you're not a meddler.”

“—I felt bad for the twins. So I fixed them up with Susan.”

I stopped laughing. “What? Crazy Susan?”

Goldie picked up some old dishes off the coffee table and carried them into the kitchen. Came back. “She doesn't speak French. They don't speak English. What language do they have in common?”

I thought for a moment. “Ooh la la?”

Goldie smiled and pointed at me. “Exactly! In fact, she stopped by before Bob took me to the airport and thanked me. She looked positively radiant, like anyone who's had two men at one time should look.”

“Wow,” Veronica and I both said at the same time.

Goldie buffed her fingernails on her shirt. “Needless to say, she has a one-way ticket to Paris.”

I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy. “She got the man—er, men—after all.”

Waving her hand in the air at me, Goldie added. “I doubt it will last, but she'll sure have fun in the meantime.”

Veronica sat in my armchair listening to us. “I sure missed an...interesting trip. It's hilarious actually. Engaged, a baby, hot French twins? Awesome.”

“Yeah, awesome. Where's Jack?” I asked her. Her boyfriend was her old flame from high school and they'd reconnected, with a little backwards help from me, last winter. Since then, Jack had moved officially back to Bozeman and had taken up residency in Veronica's house. I was expecting to wear a bridesmaid dress very soon.

“Hiking with Ty.”

“Does Mom think I'm really having a baby?”

“Why don't you call her and ask?”

I shook my head. “No way. For the same reason she hasn't called me. I'd have to explain the whole situation, which started off as a nice gesture but got blownwayout of proportion. From what you said, Goldie, she knows the real deal.”

Goldie nodded, stacking my magazines on the table. “She does. This is all on Mike. He's got to resolve this with Claudine, and then your mom will start talking. I think she's afraid to let the cat out of the bag before Mike gets a chance to explain.”

“Yeah, Mike has to get this straightened out with his mom. He did all this to protect her and he's got to figure out how to make it right. It isnotmy problem. Mrs. O hates me enough as it is. Can you imagine being the one to tell her we faked a grandbaby?”

Veronica cringed. “Is Mrs. O still in Alaska?”

“She got back yesterday,” Goldie said.

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