Page 57 of Misadventures With My Fake Fiancé

Oh, God. I loved him. I did. I was in so far over my head. I had no idea how I was going to recover from knowing he was going away again. I tried to steer clear, tried to protect myself. It had been a futile effort, like fighting a riptide. One look, onetouch, one kiss and I was swept under. My bodycravedhis, remembered it. Needed it. I needed him.

But it wasn't just that. Mike was able to see right through me, through the facade I'd built, to the real me. He was right. I didn't want to be a teacher. I wanted to be a writer. A writer. An erotic romance writer. But I was afraid. Worse than that. I was chicken. I had to let that asshat Todd stop ruling my life, stop letting words of a bad high school teacher get to me, even after all these years. I knew it, but it was hard. Really hard to do. I just had no idea how I was going to leave a good job to become Cherry Bottoms.

21

Jubal, the twins and Goldie were back by lunch. Mike updated Jubal on the FBI's visit the day before, but he didn't seem bothered. In fact, he fell asleep in his recliner almost immediately, so he clearly wasn't a wanted felon on the lam. The twins took Jubal's truck and left, no one knowing where. Ever since the baby announcement, they'd kept their distance, which was fine with me.

Goldie, on the other hand, had become my sidekick, regaling me with all the details of the brown bears standing in the river trying to catch salmon swimming upstream to spawn. When she finished her play-by-play, she moved on to me.

Lucky me.

“Have you calmed down at all about the book?” Goldie asked, making herself a sandwich in Jubal's kitchen. It was hard to concentrate on her words as I was picturing in my mind what Mike had done to me on that counter.

“Have you unpublished it yet?” I retorted.

She spread mayo on a slice of bread. “Now why would I do that? You're making a fortune.”

The thought of making money—lots of it—certainly had appeal. “Because I don't want the whole world to know me as Cherry Bottoms.”

Goldie chuckled. “Love that name.”

“People jump to conclusions about me and what's in the book based on that name. It's practically misrepresentation!”

Goldie eyed me. “Is that your problem? What other people think?”

I screwed the lid on the mayo jar and put it back in the fridge for her. “Of course, it is. People are going to think that I...that I'm...” I couldn't say it.

“That you don't have a cherry bottom?”

“Exactly!”

“So what?”

I just stared for a minute. “So what? I won't be able to look my parents in the eye ever again.”

Goldie added a slice of tomato to her sandwich. “Have you ever been filmed for a sex tape, online video or porn?”

Was she serious? “No!”

“Then your parents know it's not real. It's abook,Violet. It's pretend. Not an autobiography.”

“But it came from my imagination. They'll know I came up with that...that story.”

Goldie put down the head of lettuce and turned to me. The look on her face was different than before. More serious. “This is bigger than just the pen name, isn't it? I don't know what it is, but it's kept you from writing. You're really, really good and people are buying somethingyouwrote. I don't just mean one or two friends to make you feel good about yourself. Thousands of strangers. But you avoid writing because you're afraid and hiding behind your job. I'm right, aren't I?”

Was I all of a sudden completely transparent? I stared back, trying to hold in hot tears. She was good, dammit. She could seethings you tried very, very hard to hide. Mike had seen through me, too, been able to see the real me through all the fake walls I'd put up.

I could only nod.

She placed her hand on top of mine. “You don't have to tell me about it. But you need to tell Mike.”

“But—”

“You've loved him since you were a kid. Something changed while I was off watching bears.” She eyed me from head to toe. “I'm guessing you did that man like I said, but I'm not going to pry.”

Yeah, right.

“Tell him what happened, Violet. He'll be there for you. You might not think it, but he's been there all along.”

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