Page 47 of Misadventures With My Fake Fiancé

I wished the earth could swallow me up. Dying would not be too bad right now. Perhaps stomped by a moose. Eaten by a bear. Anything would be better than this moment. I thought I had one up on her, butno.She'd done it. She'd actually hit rock bottom. Or cherry bottom. “Oh my God. Goldie!” I all but squealed.

Goldie looked surprised, as if she'd done nothing wrong. “What?”

“Are you insane? Cherry...The book was supposed to be just for fun. It wasprivate!”

“Well, that book, young lady, has sold over fourteen thousand copies.”

It was my turn to choke. On my spit.

“Fourteen thousand,” Mr. O repeated. “That's a lot of books.”

Mike leaned close to me, reached down and squeezed my hand. “That's a lot of new panties.”

17

“Violet! Oh, my God. What is going on up there?” Jane practically yelled. I called her from the bedroom the moment I could make my escape from brunch. Someone else could clean up.

“You wouldn't believe it if I told you.”

“I've heard you're engaged, George the Gnome is with you and your book...holy shit, Vi. Your book.”

“Emma Harding didn’t tell me she actually created a cover. I thought she’d just been placating Goldie. And speaking of Goldie, did you know she published it?”

“Hang on a minute.” I heard some walking, some thunking and then a door shut. “Sorry, I had to go into my bathroom to get away from the boys. No. I had no idea she published it.”

“I'm going to kill her. That name!” I ran my hand over my heated face. I flushed just thinking the name.

“I know! She's crazy. Cherry Bottoms? I mean, really. Ty almost choked to death on his breakfast this morning when I told him.”

I groaned. “You told him?”

“Of course, I did. It's incredible. We pulled up your book online. Vi, you're like number two hundred in top books.”

“Is that good?” I had no idea. Goldie said I'd sold over fourteen thousand books, but I really didn't know if that was a lot in comparison to the real authors. Not fake ones whose employer stole your work and published it for you without your consent.

“Let's just say you're currently beating out Nora Roberts and are edging close to the gray lady.”

“Holy shit.” I couldn't believe it. When Goldie had brought it up, a part of me thought she was just joking, messing with me. That was certainly possible with her. But if Jane went online and confirmed it, then it had to be true.

I ran my hand over my face. “What am I going to do, Jane? I can't be known around town as Cherry Bottoms, or even as the person who wrote that book.”

She paused. “I can see what you mean about the name, because,really.But I don't understand your problem with the book. It's really good. And hot.”

“Jane,” I cried.

“Ty wants to thank you.”

I groaned. “I'm afraid to ask.”

“Let's just say what you wrote about on page sixty-nine lives up to its name.” I heard banging through the phone. “Look, Vi, I've got to go. Zach has to pee.”

“Tell him I've got George. He might not make it to Nome, but he's in the right state.”

“Gotcha.”

“Oh, and Jane?”

“Yeah?”

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