Page 46 of Misadventures With My Fake Fiancé

“Translate.” Goldie gave me a look she'd give a five-year-old with bad manners.

“Fine.” I stopped to think and translate what I wanted to say into French. I had to tell them about the book, but I didn't have to tell them the whole truth. Wait a minute. No one spoke the language but me, so it was time for a little payback. I stumbled over my stilted French, but was able to piece together: Goldie wrote a book and people are buying it on the computer. She writes about love and....I stopped to think about how to translate the word sex.

Both men—and everyone else for that matter—stared at me, clearly surprised of my language skills. I'd done a good job so far because one of the twins made hand gestures that all grownups easily recognized.

“Alex, why don't you get George the Gnome off my dresser and hang out with him and watch TV for a bit, if that's okay with your mom and dad.” No way was I going to corrupt a minor with universal hand gestures or my book.

“Can I? Can I?” Alex chanted.

Banks nodded and the boy shot off like a cannon down the hall. “Jefferson!” he screeched. He must have been waylaid and crotch sniffed by the dog on the way to get George.

With the boy gone, I continued in French. “Yes. She wrote a book about a man and woman and there's lots of sex in it.”

Both men's eyebrows shot up and looked at Goldie.

“Ooh la la?” Marc, the one with the scar on his eyebrow, said.

“Oui,ooh la la,” Goldie replied with a sharp American twang, then nodded happily, probably thinking they were surprisedI'dwritten word porn. “Thank you, Violet. That wasn't so painful, was it?” Goldie sat down in the empty seat and started filling her plate.

I inwardly grinned.

“You have to take maternity leave anyway to have the baby, so maybe you can consider not returning and be a full-time writer instead,” Trish commented.

“That's a good idea, Violet,” Mr. O added.

I'd forgotten about the baby. Crap. I did some speedy math. A spring baby. What she said made sense, if Iwasactually having a baby. But, remove the baby and her idea of just quitting to be a writer was intriguing. But not if everyone in town knew about the kinds of books I liked to write. It would be a reputation killer.

“Coffee?” Mike held the pot and when Goldie nodded, he poured her some and refilled his cup. How could he be completely indifferent to the magnitude of what Goldie had done? Didn't he know that writing, especially romance,especially erotic, was like baring your soul, letting everyone who read it know what was in your sexual makeup? Either he wasconfident in his sexuality—which I could easily believe—or he'd paid Goldie money to read the book and knew what Ireallywanted. And was confident that he could give me just what I needed. Crap, I could believe that idea, too. Oh, God!

“I didn't use yourrealname, Violet. A romance novel needs to have a really good pen name. Everyone knows that. It's half the fun.”

“Romance?” Mrs. O asked. “I didn't take you for a romance writer.”

I winced because I wasn't really sure what she did take me for. Children's books?

“I love romances. Is it contemporary or historical?” Trish asked, pouring more OJ in her glass. “My e-reader is full of them.”

Banks chuckled. “It is. There's no way I'd share books on vacation with her.”

Trish gave him a playful slap. “You don't mind when I whisper about what I read to you.”

Banks grinned like a whipped husband—who was getting some. “True. So true.”

“It's...um...it's a contemporary,” I offered, not wanting to elaborate.

“What's the pen name?” Mike asked, taking a sip of coffee. It was as if he was finding out the name of a dentist referral.

“Cherry Bottoms,” Goldie said, pouring syrup on her pancakes.

Mike spit his coffee out across the entire table, hitting all of the food and his mother's shirt.

“Mmm, I like cherries,” Jubal commented, cutting his pancakes up.

Mrs. O used her napkin to wipe her shirt. “I guess we're done with breakfast.” She gave her son that motherly evil eye.

“Translate, Violet. The boys look lost.”

“I have no idea how to translatethatinto French!”

---