Page 35 of Challenged

Her words catch me just as I’m about to hit enter, making my heart jolt. I pause, turning to her. I wasn’t going to mention the whole mates thing, but obviously she already knows.

“We’re putting stock in a forest goddess?” I say, arching a brow. “If there’s one thing Mercenia got right, it was banning all religions.”

Brooks shakes her head. “Mercenia banned things it couldn’t control. I don’t know if there was anything to the faiths that humanity had in the past, but I know mates are real. I don’t think you would have mated to Rardek if you weren’t going to find a way to thrive here.”

“He told you.”

“My mate, Maldek, is his brother. They spoke this morning before Rardek left with the other hunters. Rardek asked if I would look after you in his absence. Make sure you were okay.” Her mouth twists. “He told me to tell you ‘flame’.”

My heart tumbles in my chest. I didn’t really doubt that everything that took place in the dreamspace was real, but that’s the final bit of confirmation, wiping away any last tiny threads of doubt.

“A code word,” I say. “So I could confirm the version of him I was talking to in the dream was the same as the real life one.”

“Oh. That’s a good idea.” She laughs. “I didn’t believe it was real either, but then Maldek knew my name in the waking world before I ever had the chance to tell him it outside of dreams. That’s what proved it for me.” Her expression goes soft, her eyes distant, as if she’s remembering those moments with fondness. When she focuses back on me, that softness lingers. “Raskarrans don’t think like humans, Angie. That’s something I had to learn before I could accept my place here. Before I could accept everything Maldek wanted to give me. You’ll go on your own journey with it, but I’m sure you’ll decide eventually that you don’t mind being abandoned here so much. That you don’t want to be rescued either.”

I roll my eyes.

“I’m not going to judge you for finding happiness with your alien,” I say. “Whatever floats your boat. But don’t tell me that I’ll thrive here, that I won’t want to be rescued. Rardek seems like a nice enough guy, but he can’t change me. I am what I am. I’m a city girl. A corporate career path girl. And this-” I gesture at the computer screen. “-this is what I’m good at. This is how I thrive.”

I ignore the rising feeling in my chest that says what I was doing back home was a long way from thriving. It’s beside thepoint. That was my life, and I knew how to work it. How to carve out little pieces of joy for myself.

I want it back. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

You’ll pay for this, you little bitch. I will make you pay.

I blink away the echo of Baxter’s voice. Hit the enter button.

Watch and wait as the computer chugs.

And a desktop starts to load in.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Rardek

Iknow the rot spreads as far as the edge of our hunting territory, so I run until I reach it without paying close attention to the trees. Leaving my senses alert to any signs of predators or other raskarrans, I otherwise think of my linasha.

My Angie.

I go over every moment we shared in the dreamspace multiple times. Every flash of the fire in her spirit, every sharp, combative word, every hint of fear or discomfort that twisted her - I think through it all. Try to see through the surface of our conversation to the secret things it reveals about her.

I linger particularly on those final moments, when I touched her hair and she made that strange, breathless sound. Ridiculous pride buzzes in my chest, my heartspace racing to know that she is affected by me. That despite her objections ofnot wanting a mate, not wanting to touch, her body was reacting to me. Craving me.

Now to get my linasha’s headspace and heartspace in alignment with her body.

I chuckle to myself, because it feels so simple stated like that. As if I could just tug on one or the other until it falls into place. I do not think it will be so easy a journey for me and my Angie.

I think of her reaction to my dismissal of her apology. Of those cruel words other males have spoken to her.

Cruel and wrong. Aggression is unbecoming? Did the males that said these things to her have eyes? Or were they just so weak that they could not admire the fire in my Angie’s spirit without feeling threatened?

It seems to me that humans have very particular rules for their females. I suspect my Angie has found it challenging to contain the fire in her spirit within the shape they have demanded she take. That conforming to what others want from her has chafed at her, abraded her nerves, made her the angry, biting thing that she is.

Then I have come into her dreams and called her mine, and she has seen it as yet another shape being forced upon her.

The urge to turn round, run straight back to her, and tell her that I would never want to contain her is near overwhelming. But more than just the knowledge that the work I do here today is important keeps me running forwards. My Angie will not respond so well to words, I think. Even if she now speaks to her sisters, confirms that I am a truthful male, despite my teasing ways, I am not convinced she would trust anything I said. It took our sisters from the beach many long sunsets to stop flinching every time Namson spoke in his booming voice, for their shoulders to stop tensing whenever one of my brothers passed behind them. We earned their trust slowly, by showingagain and again that we would only treat them with kindness and respect. It will be the same with my Angie.

Instead, I keep these new observations close to my heartspace, let my spirit ruminate on them as I run.

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