Page 31 of My Pucking Crush

Yeah, I get it.

SIXTEEN

Luca

It’s Fan Appreciation Night, and for the first time in five years, I hate the fans. I trust no one at this point.

For the last several days, Max and I settled into a routine. He keeps to himself in the apartment, spending much of the time in his media room watching videos of the opponents coming up.

Game days are hectic, but a few hours before the puck drops tonight, the team hosts a meet and greet with a group of die-hard fans who won radio station contests. My security team ran a background check on all the winners and cleared Max to participate.

This event means nothing to me until I see a five-year-old on skates hit the ice with his father, their hands clasped tight.

My legs give out, and I grip a nearby chair before I fall into the seat. I don’t remember if this happened any other year. I never notice kids. I certainly don’t notice them at the games. There’s so many.

This year, it guts me for some reason.

I took Elijah skating a couple of weeks before his death. The raw memories of little Eli tear my heart out again. I can’t imagine a parent ever gets over losing a child. I’ve managed to exist without the crippling sadness or flames of anger eating away at me. Maybe I’ve just stuffed them down so deep they can never find their way back to the surface and destroy me.

Perhaps having Ivan Belova so close has brought back all those unwantedmemories.

“Are you okay?” Max’s voice pulls me from my meltdown.

“Yeah.” I clear my throat.

Max wrinkles his nose at me and then cuts his gaze across the ice. “The kids. Shoot. This has to bother you.”

“I’m fine,” I say, gripping the back of the seat to stand.

“You cleared me for this event. I’m fine. I don’t need you—”

We lock eyes, and I can’t wait for him to finish that sentence.

Need you. Need you now.

“You want kids someday?” I hear myself ask.

He blinks. “Never thought about it.”

Would I want another child? With a man? My throat tightens, thinking I couldn’t handle something happening to another child. Working for the Crushers has been my way out of the darkness. A chance to live a normal life without blood and death at every turn.

There was always the chance to be in a real relationship with a man and have another child. I’ve had five years, but all I’ve done is fantasize about Max.

Now I’ll be headed back to the life I escaped.

Giancarlo Byrne of House Domenico created Luca Sheppard for me. I wonder if I crawl to his queen for sanctuary and a job, will I stay Luca? Or return to the real me?

Daniil Korolev.

Mafia Queen Rebecca Domenico is married to Giancarlo. Along with him, she has three other husbands. The men are all lovers, too, and two are members of my club, which is how I know them.

If nothing else, my lifestyle would be accepted. How long can I live like this? Especially now that Belova bought a fucking team. I thought I was safe in this world,and that came crashing down around me.

“Luc?” Max’s voice brings me back.

I glance up at him fully dressed in his uniform. He’s awe-inspiring up close, even if their jerseys swim on their toned, cut bodies.

Max keeps his distance in the penthouse, but whenever he’s near me, an electric charge crackles in the air. The way he shudders suggests he feels it, too.

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