Page 85 of Sinful

“I don’t care about that anymore!” I said, desperate tears springing to my eyes.

“You’re only saying that because you’re so fucking horny right now.” He shook his head, chest heaving. “But I know you’d regret it the second it was over, and then you’d never forgive yourself.”

“No, I swear—”

He clapped a hand over my lips, muffling my protest. “I can’t. You’ll thank me later, baby girl.”

With that, he yanked his pants back up, turned around, and strode out of the cell without so much as a backward glance atme. I cried out and dashed forward, pounding on the glass. “No! Come back!”

I screamed until I was hoarse, but Sebastian didn’t return. I briefly thought about using the keycard to chase after him, but I knew if I did that, he’d realize I’d stolen it, and then I’d lose my only chance at escape.

When I finally realized he wasn’t coming back, I sank to the floor and curled into a ball, sobbing my eyes out. The aching desperation in my core soon faded away, and it was instantly replaced with heart-wrenching guilt and shame.

Sebastian was right. If I’d gone ahead and let him take my virginity, I would’ve never forgiven myself afterwards.

I couldn’t believe how far I’d fallen; how quickly it had happened. I’d allowed myself to be lured so far into temptation that I’d almost given up a lifetime of purity only a couple of weeks before my ritual.

No.

That was a feeble excuse. I wasn’tlured.I walked right into the situation myself, with my head held high, begging for Sebastian to strip me of my purity. He’d done the right thing by denying me, no matter how much I screamed and cried.

Oh, lord.

He wasn’t a monster after all. There was something good in him, and that sliver of goodness had bubbled to the surface to help and guide me in a time of real need, even when it was clear he wanted to fuck me just as much as I wanted to fuck him.

He could be saved. He could be redeemed. Only…

I’d just sent him to his death.

21

Sebastian

“Sebastian!”Augustus warmly shook my hand as he greeted me at the gate. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks.” I forced an amiable smile. “I got your message.”

He nodded and gestured for me to join him on a walk down the main street. “I’m glad the weather cleared up so you could visit,” he said. “I left you two telephone messages, by the way. Did you receive both of them?”

“Yup. I called the university department my mom used to work for, and they said they’ve got a few copies of her ethnography in the library, so they’re sending me one in a few days. They’re also going to see if they can track down the research notes she took when she was working on it.”

That wasn’t true, but I didn’t feel guilty about lying to his face. Why the hell should I? He’d lied to my face from the second we met, and he’d been lying for twenty years.

“That’s very good news,” he said. “I hope you find something useful.”

I gave him a tight smile. “Me too. It’s a good theory.”

“Yes. I’ve been kicking myself for not thinking of it sooner.” He cocked his head. “I suppose this means you won’t need to spend much time up here anymore.”

And there it is…

Clearly, he hoped his New York theory would get me off his back forever.

“I still have a lot of Alderwood-related notes to sort through, so if it’s all right with you, I’d like to continue coming here every so often,” I said, making sure my voice didn’t betray even a sliver of my anger.

Augustus clapped me on the back. “Of course. You are always welcome here, Sebastian.”

My brows rose, and I gave him a side-eyed glance. That wasn’t the answer I expected at all. “Really?”

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