Page 40 of Sinful

“You’ve dreamed of me, haven’t you? Since you had your vision?”

She gulped and nodded. “Yes.”

“You want me to kiss you,” I said in a low voice. “Don’t you?”

Usually, I wouldn’t ask. I’d just push the woman I wanted up against the closest wall, grab her jaw, and go in for a hard kiss, knowing she wouldn’t say no to me. They never did. But Rose was different, so she had to be approached differently. Carefully.

“I…” She swallowed audibly and abruptly pulled away. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Please… don’t be offended. I find you attractive. Very attractive,” she said, voice barely above a whisper. “But I must remain pure. My ritual is in five weeks. I cannot give it all up now. I’ve waited so long.”

“It’s just one kiss, Rose,” I murmured, taking a step closer. “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

She vehemently shook her head, eyes suddenly filled with panic. “No. Not for me,” she said in a slightly strangled tone. Her chest was heaving now, as if she could barely stand to bite out that ‘no’. “Maybe for the other virgins. But never me.”

“Why?”

“Technically, it’s not against the rules, but…” She bit her bottom lip and averted her eyes. “I know it can cause temptation to go further. I don’t want to risk that.”

Jesus.She had it bad. So bad she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop if she started.

“That makes sense,” I said. I cocked my head and went on, lips curving into a faint smile. “But what about your mind? Can you use that with me?”

“My mind? What do you mean?”

“What if I never touched a single hair on your head?” I asked, brows rising. “What if I simply spoke to you in a way that made you feel good? That would be okay, wouldn’t it?”

Rose pressed her lips together, spine going rigid. “I… I don’t understand,” she murmured. “I’m sorry, Sebastian. I have to go now.”

With that, she turned and fled.

Fuck.

10

Rose

Beneath my sheets,I roughly pinched my arm, but the tight feeling in my chest remained. There was an empty ache in my stomach, even though I’d eaten plenty at the feast. Layered on top of that strange hunger was a tight bundle of dread. Or was it excitement?

I couldn’t tell anymore.

With a groan, I rolled over again, squeezing my eyes shut. All night, over and over, I’d replayed my time with Sebastian in my mind’s eye. I thought I might’ve messed everything up earlier by drunkenly spouting off my feelings toward his late mother; thought I’d made him hate me. I’d seen the anger in his eyes as he gazed at the path ahead, a muscle pulsing in his cheek as if he was repeatedly clenching and unclenching his jaw.

But then he asked to kiss me, and the way he looked at me when he asked…Oh, Lord.

He didn’t hate me at all. He was drawn to me the same way I was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. We both knew we’d get burned if we continued down this path—he would be tossed out of Alderwood, leaving him unable to continue his mother’sresearch, and I would be punished for my sins and shunned—and yet we both so clearly wanted to do it anyway.

Then I stupidly ran away, leaving him out in the cold.

“No,” I whispered to myself. “Not stupid.”

That logical part of me was correct. Of course it wasn’t stupid of me to do my utmost to maintain my purity, even if that meant leaving Sebastian behind. I had no idea what would happen to a celestial virgin who lost her innocence—like I told Alice on Friday, it had never happened before in all our history—but I knew it would be a terrible price to pay. Especially for someone like me. Someone whose innocence the entire community depended on for the Tetrad to go smoothly.

And yet…

I still couldn’t stop thinking about Sebastian. Thinking about everything he said to me, those green eyes fixed on me like nothing else in the world existed.

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