Page 104 of Devil's Riches

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Alexis

I lay on my back,staring up at the white ceiling. My limbs felt limp and numb, and there was a sour taste in my mouth.

The surgery that would kill me wasn’t far off. There was no clock in my hospital room, but I hadn’t slept since my grandfather left earlier, and I knew several hours must’ve passed by now. The time had seemed to simultaneously stretch endlessly and go by in the blink of an eye.

There was nothing to do in this room but think. Think, think, think, and then think some more.

Firstly, I’d thought about my life leading up to this point. Everything I’d done to wind up in this position. Every choice I made. Every mistake. How naïve I’d been. How disappointed my father would be in me if he were still here.

Then the anger started. At him, at myself.

What the hell was he thinking ten years ago when he decided to investigate the Golden Circle? He knew it was risky. He knew they could be dangerous. But he went ahead and did it anyway, knowing full well that his life would be on the line if he got caught.

Did he not think his life was important? And what about us—his family? Did it not occur to him that we’d be left behind if he died? That our lives would crumble without him? That we’d be broken forever?

And what about his letter to me? The one where he covertly asked me to unravel his case and avenge him after he was gone. Did he really think it was a good idea to put me in that position? Was he that desperate, or did he just believe in me that strongly?

As for myself… why did I try to be brave and do this on my own? Bravery was overrated. People always lauded others for showing courage and standing up to scary things, but most of the time doing that would only get a person killed.

I was a perfect example of that.

After a while, my fiery anger faded into lethargic depression, and all I could think about was everyone I knew and loved. I should’ve spent most of my time thinking of Mom and Sascha, or my friends, but ninety-nine percent of my thoughts were occupied by Nate instead.

Oh, Nate…

I knew how I felt about him now. Knew it with all my heart. But it was too late. I’d never get a chance to tell him, and he’d never know. He’d never even guess.

He’d spend the rest of his life wondering what happened to me after he lost me, never having a clue that I’d fallen in love with him. That I’d spent my final moments thinking of him.

I wished with all my heart that I could travel back in time to that moment in the car when he asked me if I could ever forgive him. I wished I could take his hand, look him in the eye, and say yes. Tell him I understood everything. Tell him I felt it too— that all-consuming need for revenge. It was the driving force behind my investigation into what happened to my father, and it allowed me to find the strength and courage to go on, even when I knew how dangerous it could get.

Nate grew up feeling the same way. He blamed my father for what happened to his father and Emilie, and then he blamed me for bringing all that grief and pain back a decade later when Nessa and Claire were murdered. He wanted revenge for it all because he knew that sometimes someone else’s pain and suffering was the only thing that could make your own feel better.

He didn’t know I was innocent, and he had genuine reasons for thinking I’d killed people. He was wrong about me in the end… but I was wrong about him too.

He wasn’t the cruel, heartless monster I used to think he was. He had a heart. A big warm one that beat tirelessly for those he loved. Including me. I saw that now. The way he’d taken care of me over the last few weeks, the way he touched me, and the way he looked at me… he loved me. He’d never actually told me, but the feelings were clearly still there. Feelings that I returned.

Nate Lockwood wasn’t what I expected or wanted, but in the end, he was what I needed.

I closed my eyes as a tear slipped down my cheek. I should’ve listened to that voice in my head the other night; the one that came from the heart and told me I’d fallen for him. Instead I chose to listen to the other voice; the one that came from a place of fear and anger.

I wasn’t angry anymore. I wasn’t afraid, either. Not when it came to Nate.

He hurt me terribly in the past, but I hurt him too, and now that we knew the truth about our world, neither of us had any intention of hurting each other ever again. We only wanted to help each other.

I guess it didn’t matter anymore, though. Nate couldn’t help me now.

Earlier, I’d wished and prayed for him to find me, but now I’d accepted reality. He wasn’t going to find me. How could he possibly figure out that my grandfather had taken me to harvest my organs for his dying wife?

There was no way. Simply no way.

The whooshing sound of the automatic door sliding open caught my attention, and I opened my eyes and looked up. A nurse in pale blue scrubs had entered the room. He came over to me, undid the cuffs around my wrists, and instructed me to go into the bathroom to empty my bladder.

I did as he said on shaky legs, listlessly wheeling the IV stand by my side. There was no point arguing or fighting. The nurse was paid enough by my grandfather to turn a blind eye to my plight, so he wasn’t going to help me escape. He was twice my size, too, so even if I tried to run away from him, he’d catch me and have me cuffed on the bed again in a minute or less.

After I finished in the bathroom, he led me back to the bed and ordered me to lie down. The door swished open again, and my grandfather stepped inside.

“We’re nearly ready to go, Alexis,” he said, glancing at his silver wristwatch. He turned and murmured something to the nurse, who nodded and briskly headed over to a set of drawers on the other side of the room. Then he turned his attention back to me, thin lips stretching into a smirk. “I see your knight in shining armor didn’t come to save you.”

“Fuck you,” I muttered, wishing I could rip the IV line out of my arm and choke him with it.

The smirk curled into a cruel smile. “You understand now, don’t you?”

“Understand what?”

“That this is it. This is the end.”

I slumped back against the pillow and closed my eyes. “Yes,” I said, voice coming out in a ragged whisper. “I understand.”

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