Page 81 of Devil's Riches

I skimmed my fingertips along my jawline as I considered it. “I think you’re right,” I finally said. “It’s too much to be a coincidence.”

“Exactly. Also, there’s this.” Alexis gestured to the page she’d placed in front of me. “I think my father might’ve suspected Edward at some point. This ‘IL?” thing could’ve been short for ‘in-laws?’. Like he was questioning whether or not it could actually be them.”

“Fuck. It all fits.”

“See? I knew I wasn’t losing my mind,” she said, lips curving into a triumphant smile. Her blue and gold eyes were sparkling. “I think Edward Paxton Sr. was the first leader of the Golden Circle, and when he died back in the 1980s, my grandfather took over the position.”

“Wait, what about your mom?” I asked, forehead creasing. “Greg said the kids in each family learned about the Golden Circle business when they were young. So if the Paxtons are really involved, shouldn’t she know about it?”

“Mom ran away from home when she was really young,” she said. “She never got along with my grandparents. So I doubt they ever tried to tell her.”

“Right.”

Alexis suddenly dropped her gaze, lips pressing together. “You know, if I’m right about all of this, then it means you were right about me,” she said softly.

“What do you mean?”

She raised her eyes to meet mine again. The sparkle had vanished. “You used to say I was descended from evil. So if all this stuff about the Paxtons is true, then it means you were right. I am descended from evil. Just not the evil you originally thought.”

My stomach knotted with self-loathing. “I didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about when I said that shit. I was just being an asshole.”

“But you were right.”

“No, I wasn’t. Maybe certain ‘evil’ genes can run in families, but I don’t think it applies to you.” I reached across the table and lay a firm hand on her shoulder. “Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with you, Alexis. You’re a good person.”

“Sometimes I’m not so sure about that.” She dropped her gaze again. “Remember when you were keeping me in the tunnels?”

Regret engulfed me, squeezing my chest in a vise. “Yeah,” I muttered. “I remember.”

Alexis was correct in her assessment of me all those weeks ago—in trying to stop a monster, I’d become one myself. I deserved the knife she jammed in my guts. I deserved a hell of a lot more than that, too.

“When I was down there, I used to wish more people would turn up dead at Blackthorne,” she said, voice barely above a murmur. “I thought if that happened, you’d finally realize that I wasn’t the copycat killer, and you’d be forced to let me go. That’s fucked up, right?”

“No.”

She fixed me with a disbelieving stare. “Nate, I wished for innocent people to be murdered so I could go home. That’s definitely fucked up.”

“It doesn’t make you a bad person,” I said. “It makes you human.”

Her eyes wavered. “You think so?”

“Yes,” I said gruffly, squeezing her shoulder. “You’re one of the good ones, Lex. Just like your dad.”

When I said that, a tear began to roll down her cheek. She quickly brushed it away. “Thank you,” she whispered, closing her eyes.

I drew my hand back and watched her as she tried to pull herself together, wishing I could say or do more to comfort her. I wondered if she could feel my eyes on her face. Wondered if she could feel how much I’d grown to care for her.

I knew she would never forgive me for what I’d done to her in the past, but I wished she would anyway. Then I could make her mine. Keep her close to me and keep her safe from this fucked up world. I could wrap her in my arms and let her pour all her grief and anger onto me, and then I could take that pain and make it my own.

It would never happen, though. Who the fuck wanted to be cared for and comforted by a monster?

Definitely not Alexis. She made that abundantly clear the other night.

Every so often since then, my baser instincts made me want to forget about that conversation and go all alpha male on her like I used to. Grab her and push her up against the wall. Pin her there and roughly kiss her until her pain and tears were a distant memory.

I knew that wasn’t what she wanted or needed right now, though.

I had to respect that, even if it killed me not to have her in the way I wanted.

---