Page 20 of Torment

I wanted to vomit at the awful memory. I’d suffered through eleven straight years of that abuse until Mason showed up. He was my savior. The only bright spot on the darkest of horizons.

Until he wasn’t.

I leaned forward and took a deep breath, pressing one hand to my belly in the hope that the warmth would relieve the roiling in my guts. My hand was freezing cold, and the shock from that made me feel even sicker.

“Why now?” I choked out. “It’s been eight years.”

“Why the fuck do you think?” he snarled. “I had to wait. I wasn’t given much of a choice.”

“But why?” I paused and shook my head, my guts roiling with confusion. “Why have you taken me? I don’t understand.”

“You can’t be serious.” Mason let out a derisive sniff. “Stop playing dumb. I remember that brain of yours. When you weren’t all messed up on fucking tranquilizers, you were a smart girl.”

I shrank back and closed my eyes as another awful image of cascading blood and looming darkness appeared in my mind. Oh, god…

“You found out what I did to you, didn’t you?” I said in a small voice. “You know.”

“Yes.”

I rubbed my eyes, hoping that would somehow dispel the images from my head. Then I looked at the gray floor, trying to find my next words.

For years, I’d thought about what would happen if I ever saw Mason again. I wondered if I would be too afraid to approach him, or if instead I’d be able to work up the courage to tell him what I did before falling to my knees, begging for his understanding and forgiveness.

Apparently, he already knew exactly what I did, and he didn’t forgive me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered anyway.

“Bit late for that now.”

I let out a deep, shaky sigh. “I know.”

He leaned down again. “You tried to get rid of me.” He shook his head in disgust. “You killed my fucking family,” he went on in a low, dangerous voice.

“No…please…” I shook my head.

“Yes.”

“I… It was a mistake,” I said in a broken whisper. “Please, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care.”

I went silent for another moment. Then I looked up at him, my eyes wide and fearful. “What are you going to do to me?”

“I’m going to punish you. You deserve every ounce of pain,” he began. “When I have what I want from you, I’ll end it.”

I knew what that meant, and it didn’t mean he would finally end the torture and let me go.

“So you’re going to kill me,” I said in a flat voice.

He nodded. “Yes, Jolie. I’m going to kill you.”

Tears slid down my face, but I didn’t protest his words. I understood now.

A long time ago, I did something terrible to this man. I’d tried to bury the memory, push it as far down in my mind as I possibly could, but I always knew I’d made a mistake. I should have tried harder. At the very least, I should have tried to apologize to him for what I’d done.

Over the years, I’d tried to justify it to myself whenever the awful memory floated up as it tended to do from time to time. I’d tell myself I was young when I did it. So very young and terrified of what the future might hold outside of New Eden. I was in a bad place, too, mentally speaking. I wasn’t ready to enter the real world in such a petrifying manner. And so I made my choice.

But even so, even with all those totally reasonable-sounding justifications and excuses, I knew I made the wrong choice. I regretted it all the time, and I wished I could go back in time and change everything.

---