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“No. That’s wrong.”

“It’s right,” I said firmly. “Your first time shouldn’t involve you getting fucked in the ass in front of everyone. It should involve you and someone you care about. Alone, exploring each other’s bodies, doing everything as nature intended.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, as if what I was describing was a completely foreign concept to her. I guess in a way it was.

“I mean I don’t think your first experience with sex should be fucking hardcore anal in a goddamned orgy. It’s fine if other people wanna experiment and try new things, but for an innocent, clueless little virgin like you… I just think you should know what it feels like to do things the regular way before you do anything else.”

“You mean the way which can lead to babies?” she asked.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Yeah, if that’s what you wanna call it.”

A hand flew to her mouth. “We can’t. It isn’t allowed.”

“Where I come from, it’s allowed,” I said, sliding my arms around her waist again. “Look, I know I have to live by new laws now, but I can’t just abandon all my old beliefs. This is one of them—that a man and a woman should both feel pleasure, and the woman’s first time should be her decision.”

Her body went rigid against mine as she considered my words. “The thing you are describing… only a married man can do that to his wife.”

“We’re going to be married one day, aren’t we? Isn’t that what your father said?”

“Yes, but we aren’t married yet, so it is forbidden. You shouldn’t ask me to do such a thing with you. And you shouldn’t have touched me like that when you punished me.” She shook her head and wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as if she were trying to squeeze out all the shame and regret. “Even the kiss… it was wrong. If we were found doing that, I would be punished severely, and you would be cast out into the Wastelands.”

“But that’s why we’re in here, isn’t it?” I said. “No one can see us or catch us in this room. Isn’t that part of the reason you told your father all those things? You knew he would want me to punish you in here, but really you just wanted to spend time with me. You wanted me to touch you. That’s the truth. You said it yourself, Jolie.”

She swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I… I made a mistake.”

Fuck. I was losing her. Fast. Her long-held beliefs were winning the war in her head, beating down the part of her that wanted to be touched and loved and adored.

“Jolie, if there were no rules and no punishment, what would you want to do right now? What’s your body telling you?” I asked. I held up one palm. “You can tell me. Everything that is said in here stays in here. I won’t tell another soul.”

Her hands were trembling by her sides now. “If there were no rules, I might want to do the things you are talking about,” she whispered. “But there arerules.”

She didn’t meet my eyes as she spoke. Poor girl. She was so fucking ashamed, even though she didn’t need to be.

I backed off and held my palms up. “Like I said, I don’t want to pressure you. Don’t want to make you feel rushed or forced into anything. All I’m saying is that I think your first time should be special, and this Friday, at that fucking ritual… it won’t be special. But we’ve got a few days. So just think about it, okay?” I said softly. “You might not believe this yet, but I care about you. I want to make it right for you.”

Jolie’s lips quivered. “Even if I said yes, we still couldn’t. The Healer tests the girls for virginity before the wedding season. He would know if you did anything to me, and he would report us.”

For fuck’s sake.I was gonna have to have a twisted sort of ‘birds and the bees’ talk with her.

I sighed and motioned toward the trestle table in the center of the room. “Sit down. I need to explain some things to you.”

She did as I said. I sat next to her and put my hand on her knee. “Out in the Wastelands, I had a couple of friends who were doctors.”

“Doctors?” She tilted her head to the side.

“Healers. One of them talked to me about this subject once, because it pissed him off so much. He ranted for fucking ages while I sat there trying to enjoy a beer.” I smiled at the memory. At the time, it annoyed the shit out of me, but now I was glad my friend and I had that particular conversation. “You wanna know what he said?”

Jolie nodded, her eyes lit with curiosity.

“He said there’s been a ton of myths about girls and their virginity for a long time now. Thousands of years. But apparently it’s all bullshit. I bet you’ve been taught that all women have some sort of natural film over that part of their body which breaks and bleeds the first time, right? And a Healer can tell if he looks down there and finds it missing?”

Another nod, firmer this time. “Yes, that’s true.”

“Actually, it’s not.”

“It is,” she insisted.

I smiled patiently. “No. That thing we’re talking about is a stretchy bit around the area. My friend said it changes a bit as girls get older and become women, and it can bleed if it stretches too much or tears. But that can happen anytime. Doesn’t mean jack-shit.”

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