“I’m sorry.” I felt like a miserable bitch. Why couldn’t I just say it? He did.
He squeezed me tighter. “Don’t be. I get it. You won’t be able to say it until you’re really safe. Her too. Or him.” He put his hand on my stomach, acknowledging what had previously remained unspoken. The five-week-old life growing deep inside me; that tiny ball of cells which terrified and excited me all at the same time.
“Yeah. I think that’s it,” I whispered, looking over at the barred window.
I knew exactly how strong my feelings for Elias were. My life was braided with his, inseparable, now and forever. But in this moment, when I was still staring down the barrel of imminent death, it was impossible to open up all the way. Impossible to let go and love him as purely and honestly as I could if I were free.
He knew and understood all that, and it only made me love him more.
“Will you let me help you now?” he said softly, stroking my hair.
I swallowed hard and snuggled into him. “God, yes,” I murmured. “Get me the hell out of here.”