Page 4 of Black Hearts

I closed my eyes as invisible waves of regret crashed over me again. Alex never lied, and I was stupid and undeserving of his protection.

“So you watched me all those years….”

“Yes.”

“Why not just kill me after my father was murdered? Or take me to the mansion to be one of your kiddy slaves like you were all planning to originally?” I asked in a halting voice. It was the same question I’d asked of Alex so many times when I refused to believe him.

He smiled. “Trust me, I wanted to. I voted to either kill you or kidnap you just to make sure you never talked. But most of our other members disagreed. They thought it would attract too much of the wrong kind of attention if you died or went missing right after John was killed. Your mother, too, although she was much easier to deal with. All we had to do with her was warn her that we’d hurt you if she ever said a word. And she never did.”

So Alex was right about all that as well—they hadn’t killed me or taken me to the mansion when I was a kid purely to save their own hides. It was too late for me to start listening to him now, though. Because of me, he’d either been arrested for his crimes, or worse, caught by the Circle. They must’ve wanted him even more than the police and FBI, because he’d threatened their lives for so long.

My mind raced as I tried to think of some argument, something to keep Dwyer talking. The longer I managed that, the longer I had before he began to hurt me.

“Surely after a while it didn’t matter,” I said, finally thinking of something to say. “It’s been fifteen years now, so you could’ve dealt with me even if I didn’t remember anything, just so you didn’t have to keep watching me. I mean, when I went missing because of Alex, the police just thought I ran away, and no one linked it to my father’s murder. Except West….”

Guilt and nausea roiled together in my guts at the thought of Jason West lying by the roadside, a bullet in his skull. All he ever did was search for me out of the goodness of his own heart, and Dwyer had secretly used him and then disposed of him once he’d led him right to me.

Dwyer narrowed his eyes. “Exactly. West. All it takes is one person digging into your disappearance. And look—he almost figured it out, didn’t he? He figured out that some sort of organization like us existed, and that was why the Heartbreaker was targeting us. ‘Course, he didn’t figure out all the details. Certainly didn’t figure out that I was actually a part of it. But still, he had a general picture, and he figured out enough to know you were very likely with our killer. Which meant he was only a few steps away from finding us.”

He fingered some of the knives on the tray, sending another bolt of fear through my veins. Then he went on. “That’s what we needed to avoid. Even one person digging. Besides, it wasn’t that hard to keep an eye on you, in the end. We’ve got the means and the manpower, and you never left the city. And why do you think you got that internship?”

My eyebrows creased together in confusion. “What?”

“Your FBI internship. You weren’t our first choice. That Bryce kid was. And for the second position, it was between you and five other candidates. Who do you think voted for you and insisted the spot be awarded to you?”

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. For so long, I thought I’d worked hard enough at college to deserve the spot at the field office, when in reality, it could’ve gone to five others. I wasn’t special. Dwyer fought for me simply so he could keep an extra close eye on me.

“Why can’t you just shoot me if you all want me out of the picture? Why drag it out?” My eyes fell on the knives and other torture instruments again as I spoke, my voice a ragged murmur now.

For a fleeting moment, I thought he was actually going to do exactly what I said. He forced my mouth open with his fingers and stuck his pistol right inside my mouth, almost knocking out several of my teeth with the cold steel of the barrel. My eyes widened with terror, and I waited for the sound of the shot that would end my life. At least it would be quick…

“That would be the smart thing, yes. It’s exactly what I was told to do by the others once I had you. Shoot you immediately, and make it look like a suicide. I’m even meant to make you write a note to dump with your body, just in case anyone ever questions it.”

I shivered at the thought of everyone I knew thinking I’d run away and eventually killed myself. But Dwyer was right—it had to be that way. If anyone thought there was something weird or mysterious about my death, then they might start digging, which in turn threatened the Circle. They’d never allow that.

“But… that’s just not any fun, is it?” Dwyer went on. “And after everything I went through to get you—everything the others couldn’t pull off themselves once you vanished—I think I deserve some fun. You’re a bit older than my usual type, but I’m sure I’ll still enjoy it.”

He pulled the gun out of my mouth and set it down on the tray. I gasped for air, my whole body quivering as I tried not to picture his idea of ‘fun’.

“Also,” he added, slowly drawing the word out. “There’s a few loose ends we need to tie up before we get rid of you for good and convince everyone you offed yourself.”

“Like what?” I choked out.

“Well, for starters, you didn’t just tell your therapist what you remembered. West found out that you told someone else. A friend.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I didn’t.”

“Liar.” He smiled and picked up the Taser from the tray and held it toward me before clicking a button on it. There was a split second where nothing happened, and then two electroshock connectors flew toward my chest.

I felt my body immediately stiffen like a board as every muscle in my body locked up at once. Then I began to jolt and spasm, the pain hitting me at the same time. It felt like someone was stabbing at me with hot knitting needles, and I tried to scream, but nothing came out except a low grunting sound.

Finally, it was over, and I gasped for air again, grateful that the pain had subsided as soon as Dwyer turned the Taser off.

“Your friend’s name is Samara. I know that much already. Tell me what you told her.”

I shook my head wildly. “She doesn’t know anything! Please! I’m not lying. All I ever said to her was that I was starting to remember something and having weird dreams. But I had no idea what was actually happening. It’s like what you said before—I didn’t even know what I was remembering!”

He shrugged. “Hm. That might be true, but she’s still a loose end. Now that West is gone, she’ll probably find someone else to harass into digging around.”

---