Page 11 of Broken Hearts

5

Celeste

I slowly turnedthe soil on the top of a four-tiered planter in the greenhouse, humming to myself as I deposited some little shoots in it before burying them. I was trying to grow some herbs, vegetables, and flowers in the temperature-controlled greenhouse outside, and after a week of work, the final planter was now done. Alex had told me to write him a list of the seeds and starters I needed for it, and the next day, everything was right here waiting for me. I was sure he’d be pleased to see the progress I’d made on it in such a short time.

I blew out a deep breath and sat on the ground, giving myself a well-deserved break as I gazed around at my handiwork. I’d been coming out here three or four hours a day, every day, and my muscles ached with exhaustion. Alex had everything set up in this greenhouse, but he’d never bothered actually growing anything in here. He told me he’d considered it, bought all the equipment, and then never got around to actually doing it. Lucky for me, I guess. I’d always wanted to be able to grow my own things, but I’d never had the time or money to afford the stuff before now. Doing it also gave me a way to pass the seemingly endless time while I was here.

I’d been out of the cell ever since Dan’s death, and surprisingly, I wasn’t confined to my room. Alex was generous enough to let me wander anywhere around the house or property, as long as I didn’t go into off-limits places such as his home office or bedroom.

He still didn’t entirely trust me, though. I had been fitted with a permanent waterproof correctional collar, one which would emit sharp electrical zaps to my body if I moved out of the containment zone, which included the house and everything surrounding it by up to fifty feet. If I tried to go any farther outside that zone, I would find myself writhing on the ground seconds later, screaming as pins and needles engulfed every inch of my skin while the electrical pulses shot through me.

I’d tried it on the second day, curious to see if the collar was real, or if Alex simply told me it was, hoping I wouldn’t test it. Of course, he hadn’t lied, and I’d found myself painfully shocked as soon as I went too far on the property.

I guess it wasn’t surprising, though. He wouldn’t just hand me my freedom now that I’d gained some of his trust. He intended on keeping me here, and while I knew he wasn’t going to kill me, he still wasn’t going to let me go.

That meant keeping me close, ensuring I was never able to run too far, in case I ever tried to escape again. As long as I was here, I knew I would probably never be fully trusted. I wasn’t allowed to touch any knives or other sharp implements in the kitchen unless Alex was there watching me, so when he was out, all the drawers were locked. Also, the bathtub in my room was still blocked off, as well as every other bath in the house, so I couldn’t try to drown myself.

Still, I had far more freedom now than I did for the first five weeks he had me in his possession. I had access to good food and drinks in the kitchen fridge and cupboards, and I had all the books, movies, TV shows, music and magazines I could dream of, stacked in my room along the shelves. The huge smart TV also had Hulu and Netflix subscriptions attached to it. Though it had to be connected to the internet for that to work, I hadn’t found any possible way to access the net myself. Believe me, it was the first thing I checked.

I mostly filled my days with reading, watching TV, and pottering around in the greenhouse whenever Alex was out working. Or dumping bodies… I’d seen an article in a newspaper left on the counter the other day which said the police had found Dan’s body floating in the river two days after Alex killed him.

“Hi, angel.”

I looked up, my cheeks flushing. Alex had come into the greenhouse without me noticing. “Hello, sir.”

There was a twinkle in his eyes. “I’m home for the day. I think we should have a repeat of last night, if it’s okay with you.”

When Alex was here, we did either one of two things: trying to make me regain more of my childhood memories, or sex. Filthy, fiery, fucked-up sex.

Last night had been more of the latter, because after trying all sorts of techniques that’d proved effective for my memory in the past—the float tank, the riding crop on my behind, the flogger on my back—I hadn’t remembered a single useful thing about my father’s friends over the last week, or the place he used to take me for parties every so often.

Alex had finally given up and said I probably needed more time, and for at least a week or so, we could stop trying. He was afraid I’d stress my mind and overload myself otherwise, which could have the opposite effect of what we were trying to do.

And so that left only one thing for us to do together. Sex.

Sex, sex, and more sex.

It was like our language now, our only real form of communication. We didn’t talk much in other ways anymore; not since the day he brought me inside after killing Dan and allowed me to speak freely and ask any questions I wanted.

I hadn’t been allowed any other questions since then, and I got the impression there was still a lot more to the story that he wasn’t telling me yet. For example, when I asked him how he knew the Circle existed in the first place, he told me that someone else had told him. It made sense in a shallow way at the time, but when I thought about it later, I realized it wasn’t an answer. Not really.

Who told him? Why? How did they find out? Where were they now?

For now, Alex wasn’t volunteering any more information, and I was starting to feel like I was being given the cold shoulder. Probably because I hadn’t been helpful again. Hadn’t recognized any more faces for him to hunt down.

When he came for me in that raw, carnal way, it was the only time I felt close with him. Even though my mind was still muddled and confused in terms of my feelings toward him and the situation he’d put me in, I still craved him endlessly. Ached for him. I wanted to be closer to him, needed so much more than he was currently giving me. I wanted him to hurt me, then make it all feel better afterwards. I wanted that heady rush of adrenaline, that heat in my core.

I only got that once a day, and after he was done, he would turn away and leave me alone again. The chill of his absence in my bed made it difficult to sleep, and I wanted nothing more than for him to stay and talk for once. Just talk. Share some tidbits of his day, or tell me some other intimate detail about his family or his childhood. Anything. If he could just do that, then I might be able to find some more peace in my situation. I needed that, seeing as I was stuck here for the foreseeable future. Or forever.

It was so unfair. Alex knew everything about me, and he could have all of me whenever he wanted. But he didn’t allow me the same privilege. I couldn’t ask him whatever I wanted. I couldn’t even say whatever I wanted.

A small part of me was regretting my decision to stay and help him instead of leaving when I had the chance, wondering if I’d made a grave mistake. But the rest of me knew that leaving that day was never really even an option. I couldn’t stand the thought of Alex dead, as much as his cold aloofness bothered me now, and I couldn’t stand the thought of men like Dan and all my father’s old associates out there, still wreaking havoc on children in their secret hive of nefarious villainy.

“Yes, sir,” I finally murmured, wiping my hands on my jeans. “I loved last night.”

It was true. My skin prickled at the memory. The previous evening, he’d tied me to the X-frame in the playroom again, only this time I’d been facing him. He’d used the riding crop on my breasts before he fucked me, hard enough to sting, but not so hard that it hurt terribly. It only ever hurt in a good way, unless I was bad. But I hadn’t been bad for a long time.

“Or maybe I should bathe you instead,” Alex said, eyes glimmering. “I see you’ve gotten nice and dirty.”

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