Page 32 of The Final Rose

Eliminating them based on our interactions made me feel better, but now that only half of the girls remain, the feeling truly sank.

None of them are my wife.

I came to that acceptance after Summer’s elimination. Not sure what exactly triggered it, but suddenly I was painfully aware that I should be more interested.

I should feel something. Desire, passion, interest. But I was coming up with nothing.

It became easy to eliminate because now it’s a game for me too. I don’t feel like I’m making a mistake anymore. I know with all certainty that I’m not eliminating my wife.

The weeks after my realization dragged by. Callie continued to ignore me, and I kept polite conversation with the girls I was supposed to be falling in love with.

The group dates I thought I was going to hate, I learned to love. At least on them, they chat amongst themselves. Even to the point that I feel like an outsider.

They flank me now, asking questions about London and my country house where a good part of the episodes will be shot.

I laugh at their questions and wish I could stop feeling like this.

LikeThe Final Roseis a mistake.

It’s only when we board the plane that I breathe easily. I don’t even think about it. I just go straight to my new seat right there in the back with the rest of the mortals. I bring my hand luggage down the aisle and when I arrive on roll twenty-four, I stop and smile at Callie by the window.

She looks up, widening her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

I shrug, relaxed, opening the compartment and putting my luggage with hers. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Callie looks from one side to the other. “You can’t sit here.”

“Why not? This is my seat.”

She is still looking around like the plane police are coming to arrest us at any moment.

“You’re supposed to be with the rest of the cast in the first class.”

“Funny, that’s not what my ticket says.” I chuckle as she snags the ticket off my hands, sucking in a breath when it’s clear I’m not lying.

“What the hell did you do?” she whisper-shouts.

“Nothing. Are you a chatty Cathy during flights?” I ask, sitting beside her.

“Am I--” She shakes her head. “You need to go back to first class.”

“I can’t. I don’t have a first-class ticket. They wouldn’t let me sit there.”

“Sebastian, do you understand…” And that’s when I see she’s truly distressed. I feel like a prick, and I turn my body toward her.

“I just wanted a little company during the flight, ok? It’s a long one.”

She blows a raspberry. It’s her signature move. Like she’s physically trying to get rid of all the tension on her shoulders as she blows the air out. Her shoulders fall and she nods, bringing her fingers to her temple.

“It’s ok. I just thought you wanted time with the girls away from the cameras.”

I guess she’s right. I have ten hours without a camera on my face, but instead of using it to get to know the women I’m dating, I switched my ticket and charmed the check-in girl to put me right beside Callie Sosa.

I shrug off the implication. I know well why I don’t want to spend more time with them, but I don’t tell Callie.

“I just need time away from being that.”

“That?”