Page 73 of The Final Rose

But I’m here. I’m supposed to start with interviews with Maya and Abby in thirty minutes, but until then, I’m watching this.

I know this is self-harm. Not only I let my guard down before but now I'm staying here and punishing myself.

I forgot it's not just about this job. It’s about any job after this. It’s how the public will react to the news. It’s how my face will be everywhere and what rumors will reach my parents and my brothers.

“What would you do for love?”

The question comes through my earpiece since we are at a respectable distance from the couple.

Sebastian’s raspy chuckle burns my insides.“A loaded question.”

“You know I like to shoot straight. We are always talking about love…”she let the end of the sentence linger.

“You mean a big gesture?”

I almost groan. I love his accent. At times, it’s so thick, so delicious I have to hold myself not to tremble.

“I guess I just want to know how fiercely you can love.”

And then I feel his eyes on me. Even far away, even if during this whole date he didn’t dare glance my way. He does now. His blue eyes pin me in place, and the hair on the back of my neck stands at attention. I swallow dry.

His voice fills all the gaps of my being. Suddenly, it’s like he’s there with me. His body over mine, his voice in the shallow of my ear. His hands on me, his promises making me believe.

“I love fiercely.”A pause.“I’ll never give up on love.”

Love.

I feel like he spelled out the word to me. And I can’t anymore. I take the earpiece off, turn on my heels and leave. I don’t bother to tell anyone. I can’t torture myself anymore.

Inside the mansion, I’m out of myself. I can’t find a place to be alone, and I’m going to cry at any moment. I check my watch. I only have ten minutes until Maya’s interview.

Cursing under my breath, I arrive in the kitchen and put my hands over the cold marble counter, breathing deep to hold the tears back.

It’s done. I tell myself over and over again. We were finished back there in that room.

When I open my eyes, I’m still shaking. I’m still in the mansion and nothing will ever change. I blink the tears away, refusing to have a meltdown on set.

A glass of water comes into my field of vision. I blink and look up at the person who got it for me.

Anya.

She nods toward the glass. I take a sip quickly as she watches. My breathing slows and I hold her gaze, her presence keeping me grounded.

After a full minute of silence, she starts. “It’s for the best.”

“I know.”

“Vanessa and the showrunner? She’s risking a lot,” she says with a frown. “It’s never them. It’s always on us if something goes wrong.”

“I know.” I nod. “I know no one would ever forgive me. The network. The fans.”

“We are all humans. Don’t you think I don’t know that. But in this industry, we need to have thick skin. You have a bright future ahead of you and I will fight for it even when you don’t want me to.”

I’m holding back tears again. “Thank you. I know you’re trying to protect me.”

“I’m not trying. I’mdoingit. You deserve to be on top. And you’ll get there.”

There’s a fire in her, and I believe it. She wants me to get there; she wants to protect my career above all else and I can only be so grateful.

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