Page 35 of Knotting Before Them

I jumped out of the bed without waking them both. “Julia?” I called out into the hall.

When no one replied, my heart took a dive. Maybe she left.

Maybe we were too much for her.

“Julia?”

“Here.”

The relief I felt hearing her beautiful voice was something else.The woman held my whole heart in her hand. If she ever left, she would leave three broken men in her wake.

I found her in her omega room, standing right in the middle, watching the walls with something reminiscent of sorrow in her brown eyes.

“Everything okay?”

She hugged herself tight and turned to me with a sad smile. “Everything is fine.”

I shook my head. “Tell me what it is, and I’ll fix it for you, sunshine.”

“Nothing is wrong.” She turned to the wall again, and I followed her eyes.

That was when first saw it.

Sketched directly to the wall was her take of the mountain. It was something I had never seen before—not a realistic drawing, but she captured the mountain’s soul. It was pure moving art, breathtaking, with no explanation. It was all feeling and heart.

“You… Julia, this is amazing.”

“This is a start.” She shrugged.

“What do you need to keep going? Paint? I can get paint, just tell me which. I don’t—” I shook my head, a little embarrassed. “I don’t know much about this kind of stuff.”

“Ugh.” She chuckled and came to me, falling into my open arms.

I held her close and kissed her hair. She finally created something, and yet, she looked so sad. “Tell me what’s wrong. Is it something about the house? I know it’s not much now. We planned to redecorate and get it ready for our omega, but—”

“I love the house, Noah.” She breathed me in, her nose right in the middle of my chest. “It’s… home.”

My chest swelled with pride, and I grabbed her chin between my fingers. “So what’s wrong?”

“I’m just mourning the woman I used to be.” My confusion must have shown on my face, because she laughed. “Sorry, I’m being stupid.”

“No, please, talk to me.” I was starved for her thoughts, for her. It was so early in our mating, and there was so much about Julia I didn’t know. I wanted to learn it all.

“There’s the person who I used to be, and I’m not just saying before I knew I was an omega. I mean the Apaza girl, the promising sculptor, lonely and misunderstood. I feel different now that I’m home. I chased this feeling my whole life, but I didn’t know how it would feel.”

“Doesn’t it feel good?” I asked, worried.

“It feels amazing.” She smiled and kissed my lips.

I was probably a bigger idiot than I thought, because I couldn’t understand her sadness.

“It’s like a marathon,” she explained. “I’ve been running for so long, and I’m finally here. But I’m tired, a little confused. Thirsty.”

I chuckled, and she did too.

“There was the person I thought I was, the one I thought I was growing to be, and she’s not the woman standing here. I always thought I’d find a home back in Bolivia, but here I am.”

“We can go to Bolivia if you want. We can leave everything and move. We probably need to go over anyway to check on your parents’ village.” She nodded, and I kissed her button nose, making her smile. “Who we are is a collection of things, Julia. You have the Bolivian heritage you’re so proud of, but you’re also part of your parents. You’re a homeschooled kid, the same way you’re someone who wished for a stable home. You are still everything. We aren’t just one thing. We grow old and we collect different parts of ourselves, evolving and growing into what we’re meant to be.”

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