Page 68 of Keepsake

“It is.”

“I’m not a martyr.” I thought he needed to know. “I know not everything is on me. But it is just one more thing I need to pay attention to, isn’t it?”

He hummed without a reply for that one, so I talked again. “And your mom is going to eat this up.”

“Let me worry about my mother.”

I snorted. “Have you met Vienna? She’s spilling the beans the second she sees your mother. And I know—” I rubbed my temple, but suddenly he took my hand in his and lowered it between us.

His rough fingers were warm, making me shiver from the contact.

“I said let me worry about that. When was the last time you let someone do something for you?”

I opened my mouth to say plenty of times, but he interrupted me.

“No,” his voice was low. “When was the last time you took the worries from your chest and really put your trust in someone?”

My fingers looked so small in comparison to his. I distracted myself from the question, watching my neatly manicured nails look tiny beside his.

“I’m not really good at trusting people,” I confessed.

“That’s something we need to work on.”

He caught me off guard with a smile, my heart beating fast when I realized how much I wanted to trust him. I kept running scenarios in my head, but they always ended the same way. Alvaro wasn’t here to stay.

I took my hand from his, in need of breathing space. Alvaro noticed the change and stepped back as well, grabbing the back of his neck and turning his eyes to the city once again.

“What I mean is that I’m here to help.”

I nodded, more to myself than to him. “I know.”

Until when?

I had no idea. I wanted to ask, but fear clogged my throat. He wanted me to say when was the last time I completely trusted someone?

Today.

When I called a man that did not belong to me to come home.

Trust was something hard to build. And for the first time in my life, I was paralyzed with the fear of failing.

I learned from an early age that failing wasn’t an option and now, I had the most important task in my hands.

There were no do overs when it came to the kids. It was the biggest risk I’d ever taken and right when I needed to be perfect, I let myself trust.

I took another step from Alvaro. “I’m going to go…”

“I’ll order something for dinner,” he offered.

I nodded and hurried away.

Trust.

The word kept running through my mind, demanding definition. I went to my office and clutched that checklist I started the first night with the kids.

Practically running, I only spared a glance at the kids to see they were entertained enough and went to my room. I scribbled down everything I needed. Not only physical things, but what I needed to learn, what answers to seek.

Again and again, the knot in my throat wouldn’t ease even as I wrote everything down and told myself I just needed a plan.

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