Page 125 of Keepsake

“Don’t call it play, Jefa. I’ll make you work for it.”

Taking a step forward, breathing in my favorite smell in the world- Alvaro- I almost tried to convince myself it was ok to leave people waiting.

I tapped on his chest, passing him on my way to the main room where Vi was on her phone and Lachlan watching TV. I kissed my boy’s hair before asking, “Everyone’s ready?”

Vi shot me a glance over her phone and nodded once. Lachlan jumped to his feet and took his little backpack over his shoulder.

Before anyone could race to the door, I raised my palms, making them both stop before running outside.

“Toothbrushes?” I called.

“Yes.” Vienna replied, bored.

“YES!” Lachlan jumped.

“Pjs and a change of clothes?”

“We have all that at Tita’s.”

I went over to my new moody teenager, pocketing her phone and making her squeak. Then I took her face between my palms, squashing it. “You’re going to miss me. Stop pretending you won’t.”

She shook her head, but a little smile came through. Vienna was more like Sofia now that she was older. Sometimes so much I could see the pain in Alvaro’s eyes. That was the thing when you lost someone. They never went away, they lived with you every day. In your heart, or in the people they left behind.

The kids were all Sofia. Their laugh, their daring, their tone of voice. We loved to see it. It was like having a piece of her still here, even if it hurt like hell.

I never stopped telling them stories about their mother, and I had plenty. They were never tired, not even Dash, who was turning twenty-one today. Still, when he was home, he would sit with the others and beg me to hash out ancient teenage secrets we’d kept. He asked questions he already knew the answers to. Listened to the same stories again and again.

People have a lot of layers. Together we almost could make her as a whole. The sister, the friend, the mother.

Sofia was the glue that held us together, the reason we fought to be better and live a good life.

We filled up the elevator, the kids promising they had everything with them. I took the cake from the fridge, chocolate, Dash’s favorite.

Alvaro drove us to the restaurant, where Dash promised to meet us. He was out with friends from the body shop he worked at, but he’d never miss dinner at Antonio’s.

He never went to college, and I had to learn that college wasn’t for everyone and Dash was doing well at his job. In the end, as long as he was happy, I could breathe in peace.

I handed the cake to a server when we got to Antonio’s, while another girl showed us our way to the secluded table I had booked. I held a laugh back when I saw Caridad already there with Geraldo, on top of Dash, brushing his hair out of the way.

“You need a haircut, mi príncipe.”

It was always like that. He needed a haircut, new clothes, to eat better. I wouldn’t say Caridad healed. How could one ever heal from the loss of a child? But day by day her grief became less loud, and she slowly came back to herself again. Which meant she was criticizing everybody, not just me.

“I thought I was your príncipe, Mamá?” Alvaro asked, distracting his mother.

She told them they were all hers, and all equally important, while I found my way to the birthday boy. He rose on his feet when he saw me coming, that smirk on his mouth.

“Happy birthday!”

Dash had to curve to give me a hug. He was even taller now. “When do you ever stop growing?”

“Never, Lo. Have you looked at tío?”

Dash kissed my hair, making me think of those times when he first came to live with me.

I was just as lost as them. We were all hurting in a way that felt final, just flawed humans copying the best way we could.

We took our places, and Alvaro sat beside me, his hand on my leg. I moved closer to him, letting my head drop to his shoulder while I watched our family laugh and order an outrageous amount of food.

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