Page 108 of Keepsake

He can never get to them, Lo. He doesn’t have parental rights, but he’s smart. I spend nights thinking of all the ways he can get to me. It’s not like we are hiding.

I’m living in my parents’ house. The kids go to the same school we went to. It’s him who isn’t interested in us anymore, thank god.

But if that ever changes?

I’m tired.

I just want to find a way to make sure they are safe. That they always stay behind in a room with you, having gummy bears like I should have.

I’m sorry.

I wish I could stay.

Sofia.

Ihadashowerafter we were back from the Castillo’s home. The kids were in bed already and Alvaro went straight to the gym. I knew he needed to think. I only convinced myself to have a shower to stall. To buy myself time before reading the letter. My hair was still wet, only a sweatshirt over my body, and I couldn’t hold back anymore.

I took the letter and opened it, sitting at the edge of the bed to read.

I must have read it ten, twenty, fifty times. I couldn’t feel the tears streaming down my face, but I cursed when one fell on the paper.

Putting it aside before I destroyed it, I looked down at my toes. Was that enough reason to give me her kids? A night in seventh grade when she felt protected?

But even as I scoffed at her reasoning, I knew it was more than that. I knew David. She knew I’d never let the kids be with him, not when I already failed her.

The parenting books that I compulsively piled on my bedside table weren’t enough guidance. I had no idea what I was doing. Every day, I learned something new. And not just because they were kids, but because they werethem. They had their own personalities, their own quirks. I learned them all, and I loved doing it.

Sure, I probably wasn’t the best person for the job but Sofia was right. I’d do anything to protect those kids. Whatever the cost.

Agony ripped my chest apart, my lips quivered, and I cried for my best friend. Cried for her fears. Cried for her life.

My head cast down. I didn’t notice he came in until he tilted my chin up. He was still wet, only a towel around his waist. He frowned while his hand took the curve of my cheek.

Whiskey eyes darted to the letter, understanding coming to his features. I closed my fingers around the paper, raising it between us.

“You can read it if you like.”

I could almost hear his indecision. Finally, he took it from me, but placed it on the bedside table along with my parenting books.

“Another time.”

Strong arms circled my body, my legs going around his waist instinctively, my head buried in the crook of his neck like it was a practiced move.

He let me hold on to him tight, my tears falling on his damp skin. He sat us on the bed, his back to the headboard with me straddling his waist.

“I need you to stop crying, nena,” his voice rasped in my ear. “You’re ending me.”

I chuckled at the idea that I was ending the man whose nickname was El Toro.

“Tell me how to make you feel better.”

I moved to peer at his face. “Is that you coming on to me?”

He chuckled, his grip on my ass tightening. “I know you have no underwear on under that fancy sweatshirt of yours. Don’t tempt me, woman.”

Only Alvaro could make me blush like this in the middle of my tears. My hands went to each side of his face, taking him in.

“I’m sad cause she’s not here. But I’m so grateful you and the kids are.” I took in a deep breath. “She loved the kids and regretted ever meeting David at the same time. Do you think that’s life, Alvaro? There’s always a little sadness right in the middle of the happiness?”

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