Page 66 of Love me, Maddie Mendoza

I couldn’t take my jeans off when she was barely dressed, could I?

“Nah…” I played it off. “Let’s watch it.”

I walked over to her bed and fell into the mattress, resting one arm under my head. I turned a little to her side to ask what was the hold up, when I stopped mid-action.

It was a big mistake.

Maddie was sitting up justthere. Her tits a lick away from my mouth. A damn lick away. Quickly, I was becoming a goddamn perv around my best friend. It was never like this, not even at the height of our hormones.

It had to stop. Sixteen years of friendship meant something to me. It was the most horrible time in our lives to get a hard on around her. I’d never fuck up my friendship with Maddie.

It dawned on me I almost fucked it up when I flirted with her at the party. I was so certain asking her about it was the right thing to do, now, I was glad to be back to Orchid Street. It was a reminder of everything that was at stake.Friends. I couldn’t fuck that up.

I drew a calming breath, thinking of the intertwined branches of the trees outside. That was us. Together in soul never meant together in body. If the fifteen-year-old me understood it, it shouldn’t be hard for the twenty-one years old to grasp it.

Maddie pressed play, even though her gaze was still narrow. I didn’t give her a chance to question my awkwardness. I smiled at her as brightly as I could, and her shoulders relaxed.

She lowered herself onto the bed. Her body chased mine; head on my chest, her palm on my stomach. I could be an idiot as much as I wanted, but there was no way to untangle Maddie from me.

I sighed. Maddie came closer, our eyes still glued on the TV. I reached to the lamp by my side and turned off the light.

“I remember being so angry when she delivered half of a message,” she whispered after a while, talking about the TV show.

I nodded. “I know. I remember you groaning in frustration. It was fun.”

“She’s supposed to be the bridge between people who died and their loved ones.” Maddie ignored my joke. “How dare her to make edits! People need to say things, because… They might not have enough time, Z!”

Her sudden aggravated tone clarified thatGhost Whispererwasn’t the type of show we should be watching. Without waiting for her conformation, I took the remote and turned off the TV. The bedroom drowned in darkness. It took me a second to get used to it. When I turned, I saw the outline of Maddie’s face.

“Nothing is going to happen.”

She opened her mouth to argue. I didn’t let her. “Nothing is going to happen.” I repeated. “I won’t let anything happen.”

“We can’t control shit, Z.” She sighed, her hand brushed away curls falling on her face. “She looks healthy, doesn’t she? I mean, she doesn’t look sick, she definitely doesn’t act sick. It was her tummy, you know? She was feeling a little bloated and wasn’t going to the bathroom as much as she used to. A subtle change she put on her age. She almost didn’t go for help. Dad told her to schedule an appointment, because why not?” Maddie drew a breath and shook her head. “She was feeling ok otherwise. But her appetite reduced too, and she was getting a little lightheaded. Nothing major… so really maybe she’d put it off for a while. God knows, I would…”

She took a breath, and I got what she wasn’t saying. Everything was ok until it wasn’t. We weren’t ever in control, but I didn’t want Maddie spiraling.

“But she did, Maddie.” I tried the calmest of tones. “She went to the doctor, and it’s all going to be ok.” I remember Nick’s advice. “Don’t suffer for things that haven’t happened yet. She’s healthy, and the chances of removing the whole thing with surgery are huge.”

In the low light, I mostly felt her nodding. I continued, “So let’s not watch shows about ghosts and think positive thoughts?”

Maddie laughed, groaning, “Who would think you needed to be the Maddie of the relationship?”

I chuckled as she eased herself onto my chest again. “You came to every physiotherapy after my fall.” I reminded her, brushing my hand over her soft curls. “You never let myself get in the way.”

Maddie worked relentlessly. She wouldn’t miss a session, even when I was in my worst mood and she had a bright, new, shiny relationship with Peter, who wasn’t a jackass yet. She cooked food and learned all the exercises to help when I wasn’t with the physiotherapists. She pushed when I was ready to give up. My body was never something I needed to work on, as entitled as it sounded. Sports came easily to me. I was that kid that was the fastest, the most capable.

I learned things fast. I could pick up rules and turn them into play. Basketball was my favorite, but all sports were my way to life. When I fell, I felt betrayed by my own body. After the surgery, it wasn’t just my body that needed to be back into shape. My ego was bruised. When I realized my chances of being back in court for Statham were less than zero, I wanted to curl into a ball and die.

Maddie wouldn’t let me.

She knew me before basketball, and she was going to know me after. While I was mourning a part of myself, Maddie held the team together. The fact that I could still play amateurly was all because of Maddie. She was the strong one, perkiness and all.

“Where else would I be, Z?” she asked, draping one leg over my jean clad one. “If not right by your side?"

The clatter and chatter broke my sleep.

Maddie was tangled in me, her chest on top of mine, her breath on my cheek. I had a handful of her leg, hitching it up.

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