Page 46 of Love me, Maddie Mendoza

“It kept going forever. I’m sorry I can’t accept that’s the way you kiss when it means nothing.”

“Maybe you’re a bad kisser.”

“I’m not a bad kisser.”

I shrugged. “Stop fixating on things that don’t concern you.”

“They concern you.” It was easy for him to say now that we were walking. “I think you’re about to explode.”

He wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t about to admit it, so I grunted like a caveman. Jason found it was opening enough to keep going. “Have you ever done anything sexual with Maddie?”

I sliced him a look, and I hoped it was a good enough answer.

“Ok, so no? And you don’t think that’s a big damn deal? Have you talked to Maddie?”

“There’s nothing to talk to Maddie about.” But of course, there was plenty to talk about. There was so much to talk about, I was scared to start and never be able to stop.

“There is plenty.” He insisted.

I sighed. “If there is… And I’m definitely not saying that’s true, don’t you think is up to me and Maddie?”

Jason nodded. “Absolutely. But it isn’t happening and you look miserable. So I thought maybe I could help.”

How could he? I did not know what I was thinking, much less what was going on with Maddie. I completely turned on the autopilot and the numb Zeek had been in command for the last seven days. Even if I wanted to talk to Jason, the words weren’t leaving my lips.

“We don’t need help.” It was final, with a certainty I didn’t really possess. Maybe we needed help, but it would be the first time we needed someone to intervene in our relationship. Even when we were kids, the adults never got involved in our fights. They were few and far between, and we handled it ourselves.

“King…” Jason shook his head. “That kiss changed things.” It was like his mission to ignore me. “You can talk to her and maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

Maybe what? I’d love to hear some answers. My heart thumped inside my chest every time I asked myself the same question. What was the end of the sentence? What could happen after the kiss?

Jason took my shoulder so I’d stop. With a frown on his face, I saw pity behind his blue eyes. It pissed me off.

“You can get together. Finally.”

I shrugged him off. “Don’t you start, too.”

I was steps ahead when he walked again, never giving up. “I’m not saying that’s the outcome, I mean I still think…”

“It sure sounds like that’s exactly what you’re saying.”

“Sure, I think the kiss meant something bigger. But I’m not the judge here, I can’t decide for you and Maddie…”

“I’m glad you understand that part.”

“King, this could fuck things between you and her.” My chest tightened as Jason had no qualms about vocalizing my biggest fear. “If you think nothing of what happened between you two, that’s fine. But you have to say something and clear the air.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing through my nose. I hoped he didn’t expect a reply. He would not get one.

“You’re acting like a maniac this week and you don’t think Maddie sees it? You don’t think she’s freaking out too? That she…?”

“Shut up!” I roared before I remembered Jason was simply trying to be a good friend. Logically, I knew he was trying to help me, but he kept saying things I was too chickenshit to deal with. “You don’t know shit about Maddie and me. No one fucking knows, so why don’t you and the rest of this school go fuck themselves over this Zaddie bullshit? Maybe things will get fucked because no one is leaving it alone!”

I didn’t notice we both stopped walking in the middle of my rant. Jay raised his palms in defeat. “Ok.”

I dipped my chin.

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