“Sit with me, King.”
The request caught me off guard. I turned around, and she was sitting on the front steps, waiting.
“I have…” I tried to come up with an excuse. Any would do.
“Sit down, King. You can lick your wounds another time.”
I gritted my teeth. I hated being so transparent. Defeated, I walked back across the lawn and dropped beside Aisha.
“You don’t really think she took advantage of you, right?”
I frowned, “Of course not.” I shook my head, facing my shoes. “I told her.”
“You told her she was looking for comfort in you.” Aisha challenged.
“She was.” I shrugged. “But I wanted to be there for her.”
Aisha made a noise in her throat.
We stayed in silence, but I gathered I could be real with her. “Can I be honest?” I wanted to say the words out loud at least once. Even if it wasn’t to Maddie.
“Please.” She allowed.
“I miss her so much.” I breathed. “So fucking much it hurts.”
“But you drove her away.” It wasn’t accusatory, almost curious.
“I drove her away.” I nodded. “It was wrong. She was fragile and needed me as a friend. And I took…” I should have known better.
“She gave to you.” Aisha told me in a soft voice. “You never took.”
I lifted a shoulder. “She wanted to feel loved and desired after Peter broke up with her. And then her mother got sick. I’m the closest thing she has for…” I swallowed the gross word. “For a sibling.”
Aisha barked a laugh. “Oh god, King, you don’t really believe that do you? Even before you two got funny in bed, Maddie never saw you as a brother.”
“I’m part of the family.” I insisted. “Even now, her parents call me when they need help without thinking twice. Her mother was sick, and I was right there with her. Not just because of her, but because of Xio. Because I love Xio too.”
“And you think that was what got messed up?” She instigated.
I bobbed my head. “What else? Sex is a great way to distract people from pain.”
“That’s true.” Aisha agreed. “I think she needed that. Maddie was going to be consumed by her mother’s health. And the thing is, it was just the wait that destroyed her. You know Xiomara is all right.”
It was true. The doctors were keeping a close eye on her, but they confirmed it never spread. They removed the tumor in the surgery and malignant or not; it wasn’t anywhere else. She’s had doctor’s appointments and a new diet, but Xio wasn’t ill. She wasn’t going to die.
“The wait was cruel on Maddie.” Aisha continued. “She wanted to protect her mother. You know how she is. She’s a little lioness thinking we’re her cubs.” Aisha chuckled. “Having to wait for an answer was tough. At any time, the worst news could’ve come along. That destroyed her. So I agree with you, she needed a distraction.”
It hurt me every time I heard it, even when I was the first one pointing it out. I hated I was a distraction when she was my everything.
“And sure, she needed the orgasms after a year with Peter.” She snickered. “But I’ll tell you now, since you’re an only child and confused about what brother and sister feelings should feel like. Maddie never liked you as a brother. Nothing changed magically.”
“It was the kiss.” I was adamant.
Aisha lifted a shoulder. “Sure, it was the kiss a little. But I spent too much time hearing her wonder about your dick to think she never thought about it.”
“What?”
For the first time since we sat, I looked at her. Aisha rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying she was into you. But let’s say she was aware you were a man, all right?”