Page 72 of Love me, Maddie Mendoza

She crossed her arms over her chest. I diverted my gaze. I was being good since the surgery. Determined to ignore my dad’s advice about fucking marrying Maddie like a lunatic, I was keeping my hands off of her.

Yet, I couldn’t ignore that things had changed.

Our friendship never felt so intense. Maddie was constantly on top of me; on my lap or literally on top of me when we were in bed. The touches were inappropriate, like we were in a constant game of dare.

Since we arrived back on Orchid Street, we haven’t slept apart. I woke up with my hands full of Maddie, with her breath tickling the back of my neck or, even worse, on my nipple. I was constantly sporting a hard on, and I knew she felt it. How couldn’t she? Her new favorite place was on my lap. I kissed her shoulder, her nose, her cheek, and the only thing I didn’t was her mouth. It was…

It was difficult.

I never quite understood the idea of blurring lines until I saw myself tangled in bed with my best friend. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t ask outright what was happening. It was a conversation I’d played in my mind too many times to even think for a second it was a good idea.

It was like our friendship got a half upgrade. What the hell was I supposed to do with that? So yeah, I had to go back to Statham because of classes, but I wouldn’t lie. I hoped the distance would do us good.

Maddie was staying put for a little longer with her mother, now back home. My mission was to see her professors and explain the situation to them, maybe get her an extra week.

Overall, I needed to sleep alone. I was on the edge of torture, wanting to be far but scared to be apart. I liked to have Maddie in my arms, but every day I found myself wishing to advance just one more inch.

“We can send them emails again and…” She started.

I zipped down my pants, not bothered anymore. That was what we did. Without batting an eyelid, Maddie gave me space in the small bed and lifted the covers to take me in. We were an old couple. Sleeping together without having sex.Great.

“They gave us a week. I’m sure they will make an exception for you. But me?”

She huffed. I opened my arms and her head fell over my shoulder. “Still, we could try.”

“Well, I go tomorrow. If they give me extra time I can come back.”

I turned the TV on, and we paid attention to a show I had never seen before.

“You are coming back eventually, right?” I decided to ask.

“Of course.” A beat. “If mom doesn’t need me.” And she trailed off.

I said nothing, but I knew Maddie. She was going to be the judge if her mother needed her or not. Not her own mother, not the doctors. Not anyone. It could go either way.

“If you’re not back in a week, I’ll come to get you,” I said to her temple. “I can’t be that long without you.”

Her body melted. Her leg came on the top of mine like she wished we were one. “I wouldn’t be able to do it either,” she whispered, and for a second I thought I wasn’t meant to hear it.

My eyes burned. I cleared my throat and moved my attention to the TV show we were watching. They were arresting someone for one thing or the other. I wasn’t exactly following the plot.

“Do you keep any secrets from me?” she asked me after ten minutes of silence.

“No.” The reply was so quick it had her laughing, swaying her hand over my chest. “So yes?”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t have secrets.” But I didn’t tell her everything I felt all the time. That wasn’t a secret, was just being a normal person with private thoughts.

“Everyone has secrets.” She insisted. “Tell me one.”

I sighed. “I don’t think I have secrets. You know everything there is to know about me.”

She’d never asked me something like that. We always assumed we knew each inside out. Yes, I wasn’t one to be sharing my feelings with the circle all the time, but that was why it was so easy to be friends with Maddie. She was emotionally intelligent. She never needed me to share, she just knew.

I squeezed her sides, and she jumped. “Why don’t you start? What kind of things have you never told me?”

She thought for a second, and right when I was sure she’d give up, she said, “Intimate things. Like sex and stuff.”

I frowned. “Like what?”

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