Page 38 of I Will Break You

He points a skeletal finger between my legs.

My heart lurches into my throat, choking off my words with its frantic beat. The pulsing becomes unbearable, throbbing so hard its vibrations reach my clit.

This is just a dream. An advanced sleep disorder brought on by stress. If I can shake myself awake, I can end the nightmare. But when that bony finger jabs the air again, I flinch.

“What does that even mean?” I whisper.

“Show me your pussy,” he replies, his voice guttural.

I squeeze my eyes shut. “What are you going to do?”

“Show me,” he commands.

“But I can’t move my arms.”

“Now!”

A whimper lodges in my throat. I try to twitch my fingers, try to break out of what I hope is sleep paralysis, but they only brush against my thighs. Panic courses through my system as I attempt to jerk my arms apart, but they remain pinned down by unseen bindings.

I squeeze my eyes shut, struggling to force my brain to reset. If this isn’t a dream, then I’m having some sort of episode, triggered by the return of Uncle Clive. My mind is in crisis, and it’s throwing out all kinds of distractions to stop me from accessing the memories I suppressed. Now, I’m imagining Xero’s ghost wanting me to flash him in the dark.

When I open my eyes again, I’m looking at the window. Has he gone?

Cold fingers slide on my inner thighs, and I raise my head to find those glowing, white eyes hovering between my spread legs.

“I won’t ask you twice,” he says, his cool breath pebbling the skin on my inner thighs.

“What if I don’t?” I whisper.

“Then that would make you a liar,” he says, that deep, sonorous voice making my nerves tingle. “You swore that our connection would be eternal and pledged yourself to me in this life and the next.”

My throat tightens, and the backs of my eyes sting. “I said those things to Xero.”

“I am Xero.”

“How do I know you’re not an impostor?”

“Who else would punish a man for taking advantage of you? Gavin lost his fingers because he stole from my woman.”

My breath quickens, and my chest fills with a twisted sense of warmth. I don’t know why my body is impressed by an apparitional avenger. Violence isn’t exciting. It’s just a necessity.

“Is it really you?” I ask.

He nods.

“Tell me something else?”

“The last time we spoke on the phone, you told me your deepest desire.”

My breath stills.

“It wasn’t just for me to tie you up, fuck you in your sleep, or fill every hole until you passed out from an orgasm overload. For once in your life, you wanted a man to embrace your darkness and not treat you like a fragile creature who needed fixing.”

“How…” I gulp. “How do you know?”

“Because you told me.”

“Because you’re Xero?” I whisper.

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