Page 97 of Breakneck Hockey

“Sutter we should probably?—”

“I have to go.” I hit end. His fucking gorgeous face leaves the screen, and I immediately feel like a dick. But that gut-wrenching ache’s only half as bad as the uncontrolled sensation of free-falling I get every time Casey tries to be serious.

Well, look at that. I have some flight in me after all.

I stare at my phone begging myself to call him the fuck back.Baby. You called him baby, Sutter.

I could play it off and lie, but I know how I meant it.

I’ve been missing him. Pining for him.

My phone buzzes.

Kitten

I wasn’t gonna ask to be boyfriends just because you called me baby in the middle of sex, Sutter. I knew we were about to have our traditionally awkward “fuck yah later” and I wanted to get this out. I need to take a break from all this, just for the next little while, okay? Something came up for me, nothing to do with you. Believe it or not, my world doesn’t revolve around you, dickface. I’ll see you in Vancouver next month for another family-friendly press conference.

The best thing about Alderchuck is that he gets me. He was wrong about one thing, though. I wasn’t afraid he was gonna ask, I was afraid thatIwas gonna ask.

Me

Okay, cool. Pound you later, baby.

I might as well own it. He’ll think it’s a joke, and I’ll let him.

Kitten

Just wait, Sutter. I’m gonna come up with something twice as embarrassing for you.

I smile, but my dark heart clenches. What’s going on with him? If he’s got problems, I should be the one to help him with those problems. He seemed fine. He fucked that dildo like a true porn star. Unless he called me to get his mind off whatever the fuck was upsetting him.

The questions invade my mind worse than before our phone sex interlude.

Is he with someone, so that he’s not alone? Is he getting the affection he needs? Should I get on a plane and damn well make sure of it?

As much as I want to, I can’t make myself call him back, which sounds made up.Just pick up the phone and call him, Sutter.But there might as well be a solid wall of steel between me and my phone. My limbs freeze up thinking about it. It’s all in my head, I know it’s all in my head, but that doesn’t seem to make any fucking difference.

Shower. I need a shower. I make it a hot one to wash the cum off and to pump blood into my metaphorically frozen limbs. I spend a long time in the steam. But can I turn my attention to other things? No. None of it gets Casey off my mind. If I could bring myself to call him back, I’d ask him, no, demand that he tells me what’s going on with him. But if I’m gonna demand that from him, he’s gonna demand that from me.

You’re “flighting” again, Sutter.

Yeah, I know.

But I’ve got to find a way to tell Casey how I feel about him. He’s mine to look after. Mine to protect.

Mine.

If I don’t find a way to tell him that, he’ll eventually tell me to fuck off for the last time.

On the Ice

I’m bent over, stick against my thighs, ready to face off with Rhett. “Die, Elkington.”

“That’s not very?—”

I can’t believe that worked. The puck is mine, but Rhett’s on my tail.Wham!Slammed into the boards. Being slammed into the boards by him is like getting rammed by a gorilla. Point Logan for that reference.

We lose to New York horribly anyway. Five to one, and Rhett and I convene at his place for a beer.

---