Page 89 of Breakneck Hockey

Jack adds the macaroni to the boiling water. “Always. I swear to fuck. They’re in their own RhettLo world.”

“Found it!” Rhett calls as if we give a fuck. He’s not holding anything in his hands when his feet pound down the stairs, so I don’t even wanna know what he fit into the inner pocket of that jacket he’s wearing. But then he pulls out his phone to send a text and with the way he’s smiling, Logan’s definitely the recipient of that text. “Not sorry for ignoring you, Alderchuck. Logan comes first. Now that he’s taken care of, hello.”

I catch eyes with Jack and pop a brow upward. Am I seeing what I’m seeing? Rhett was devoted to Jack when they dated, but it wasn’t like this. Rhett’s redefining the term devoted. Dear God. It’s like he’s made a hockey game out of it, and he’s entered his own private competition to win best prize for boyfriend of the year.

“No one’s giving you MVP for boyfriending, Elkington,” I inform him.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about anyone else,” he says. “If Logan isn’t happy, I’ll burn the world down.”

Huh.I believe him and I’m—oh God—I’m jealous. Yeah. Of the attention Logan’s getting from his man. A man who happens to be Rhett, someone I’ve hated for at least as long as I’ve hated Sutter. I’ve officially reached a new low.

My overactive mind sifts through all the tidbits Sutter’s given me, even those he hasn’t. Like the night I lost him for a bit. I followed my instincts. He was in another world, a dark one. He needed something in this world he could hang onto. I couldn’t pull him out of it, so I did the next best thing.

Became an anchor.

Wouldn’t be the first time I did that for someone, was just the first time for someone who wasn’t Mom. I went about it a little differently, but the idea was the same. He might have been with me physically, but he wasn’t there mentally.

Last time he seemed to want to open up. Offering information. I did right back, hoping—actually fucking hoping—that these things would bring us closer. I know the bullshit he’s fed to the media about his tattoos; what he shared with me was personal.

Real.

And so, you thought you two might be real, Alderchuck. Fucking, dumbass.

Yeah, I agree with the voice in my head on that one. I’m a dumbass for thinking I’m anything more than Sutter’s personal fuck toy. Why am I even mad about it? I love being a fuck toy. It’s number two on my top ten kinks list just above my kink for being forcefully abducted, which Sutter kinda sorta made happen. He’s the hottest sex I’ve ever had. I need to enjoy it for what it is. I don’t need Sutter to be “my man”. We’ll have our fun, and then someday we’ll part ways and that’s when I’ll find the guy who redefines worship for me.

No way am I ever telling Rhett that he brought on this kind of philosophical realization for me. Time to do what I do best.

“You’re like two red flags dating each other,” I say. “You two scream codependency.”

“Jealous because you’re just your hookup’s pet, Alderchuck?”

I know I deserved that barb because my barb was equally barbarous, but it hits too close to home. I’m off the couch so fast, ready to break his perfect nose.

Jack steps between us. “Alright, you two. Jesus. It’s like breaking up a Meyer brawl. Go illegally sneak into your boyfriend’s dorm, Rhett. You have until tomorrow before I rat Lo out to Mercy. Case, the mac ‘n’ cheese is ready. Come drown it in ketchup like you always do.”

Jack’s such a dad now.

“Happy to,” Rhett says.

I glare at the door as it shuts behind him.

“Is he right?” Jack says.

Swinging around, I spy the bowl of mac ‘n’ cheese waiting for me. Steam rises from it and along with that the delicious scent of chemically-created cheese. It’s begging to be overloaded with ketchup. Too bad the thought of Sutter’s souring my gut. “I’m not hungry.”

That serves as an answer for Jack. He blinks, readjusting his hat, which is actually my hat. “Quiet and no appetite? Spill it, Casey.”

I groan loud and long. “Do I really need to say it? I never should have started this thing with Sutter, okay? It’s messing with my head. My stomach’s in knots about it.”

He thinks about that, pulling ketchup from the fridge for me, knowing I’ll eventually find it in me to eat. Jack’s listened to me bitch about Sutter all summer.

Jack’s green eyes sparkle at me. “Things have fucking changed, Alderchuck. You like him.”

I cover my face. “I don’t know. No. Yeah. Well maybe just in, like, a friend way. I don’t hate him, I guess.”

Jack laughs. “I won’t make too much fun of you if you do. You can admit it.”

I squirt ketchup onto my mac ‘n’ cheese. A lot of it. I’m gonna eat this if it kills me. I won’t let Sutter kill my appetite. “I don’t want to not hate him. I want to go back to loathing him. He’s a serious dick. The opposite of boyfriend material.” Not that he’d want to be my boyfriend anyway. He likes the fucked up thing we have going.

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