Page 82 of Ice Dance Hockey

A small burst of butterflies knocks around in my stomach. Yeah, I like him. The problem is, it’s not as much as I like Rhett. Fuck. I’m disappointed that it’s him and not Rhett.

The reality came crashing down when he pretended to be sick for a week to avoid me. I shouldn’t have cared. At first, I thought I didn’t, but his absence highlighted how much of a presence he had become in my life.

I hate that Merc was right and I hate how much I like Rhett just as much as I hate him. He’s an asshole. He’s only just learning to be nice. I deserve better. I deserve Scott.

We do. Hey, you wanna get coffee later?

I don’t send the message right away. I’m not an initiator of events. I don’t go places—other than the places my family forces me to go. Fuck it. You only live once, right? I send the text.

Yeah, sure, Logan. Your boyfriend won’t kill me?

Boyfriend. I scoff at the word.

You’ll be fine. I’ll protect you.

He sends me the eye roll emoji. Then I enter the two events—nature walk with family, and coffee with a friend—into the calendar. I had been entering things like “too preoccupied for moronic beasts” to let Rhett know I was still mad. You’d think the guy would have hired a marching band or something else ridiculous by now. Not that I want that … but heshoulddo that or something like it. Hell, I’ll settle for a text at this point.

Why isn’t he fighting for me?

Once the events are entered, I get my Rhett text, and I’m just madder because, of course, it’s him being jealous. Something I’d think was hot if we’d made up and sorted things out. But right now, it pisses me off that he’s only bothering to give me his attention when someone else tries to “play with his things”.

Is your friend Scott?

I’m not speaking to you.

Texting me is speaking to me.

Arrrrgh.Know what? I will tell him. He can have something to be mad about while I have a nice time with Scott.

Yes, it’s Scott.

Are you trying to make me jealous? It worked. Don’t you dare go for coffee with him.

Don’t dare?

You can fuck right off, Rhett.

How is that winning me back? I mean, not that I was his to begin with, but I’m not a fool, he has feelings for me. I could feel them. That’s why they’re calledfeelings. The nice thing about feelings is, while we may have them, we don’t have to act on them or label them as anything significant whatsoever. Feelings can also be wrong.

After that lovely interaction, I turn off my phone and leave it by my bedside table. I’m hanging out with my family today. I only have a handful of days left with them before I’m off to New York. I don’t have time to argue with asshole gorillas over text message.

* * *

Ared McLaren is sitting in the drive when we return.You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Want me to get rid of him for you, Lo-Lo?” Jack asks.

“I c’n bite his ankle again for you, Lo-Lo,” Theo says.

“I like Rhett,” Lorelei says. “I wanna marry him someday.”

Is it weird that I’m jealous of anyone marrying him, including a seven-year-old girl? Probably a little.

“I’m gettin’ rid of him,” Merc says.

“No. I’d better talk to him.”

“Lo,” Merc warns. He was the one who had to deal with me when I was upset yesterday.

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