Page 184 of Ice Dance Hockey

He takes a breath and pulls out a stack of folded papers that he sets down on the table. His fingers strain with tension and his jaw locks, emphasizing his too cleft-y chin.

“I’m sorry this took me so long.” His bottom lip wobbles, and I see the damn little boy he was talking about last week. “I’ve been irrational. When we get married for real, it’ll be the biggest event of the century.”

They’re the divorce papers I’ve been asking for. It’s been too long for us to have an annulment, even with all the powers Rhett can harness.

He pulls out a pen, clicks it, and indicates that all I have to do is sign in a few places and our fake-real marriage will be over. Taking the pen, I poise it, ready to sign the dotted line.

“You know, our wedding was already the biggest event of the century,” I say. Social media’s still talking about it. Everyone and their dog wants to interview us, but we keep putting them off.

“It was huge, which means we’ll have to do bigger. Maybe Maui. We’ll fly in thousands of people. We’ll do it in the off-season so we can stay for a couple of months in the house I’ve bought for us.”

I don’t miss that the “bought” is past tense. I’ll deal with that later.

“Whoops,” I say, knocking someone’s half-filled cup of coffee onto the papers.

Rhett rakes his eyes over the scene, slowly coming to the realization of what I just did. His lips curl into the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. “Does that mean…?”

I nod. “I want to stay husbands.”

He lifts and spins me, flaring my sparkly blue skirt and then sets me down carefully. “I’ve been heartbroken all morning.”

“Why? It wouldn’t have been a breakup.”

“I never want to divorce you—ever. Even just temporarily.” From the same inside pocket he kept the divorce papers, he pulls out what’s definitely a ring box.

I arch a deadly brow.

“If you had signed, I would have respected that, but I prayed for a miracle and my prayers were answered. Either way, I would have given you a promise ring, but this is better.”

There are two matching bands inside the box. They could be white gold but knowing Rhett, it’s some other more expensive metal. They have a row of diamonds in the center, and it’s clear which ring’s mine and which is his—his is the ogre-sized one.

He slides mine onto me and I slide his onto him.

“Perfect fit,” he says, leaning down to rub noses with me. “And hang on, just to be sure.”

Using his Zipp-o, he sets the divorce papers ablaze, letting them burn away to almost nothing and then shoving what’s left into a red-solo cup filled with cool liquid. The fire extinguishes with nothing but charred flakes and a thin trail of white smoke to tell the tale. Rhett wipes off his hands.

“Fuck, maybe we just keep this between us for a bit? When Merc finds out, I’ll be cleaning things with toothbrushes until we have our firstborn.”

“Oh, really? So, you might want children after all?”

“Still don’t know. I’m trying on the idea. It’s something we should have agreed upon before binding ourselves together in wedlock.”

“Meh. I’m not worried. We’ll figure it out.”

“Endings are supposed to be tied up into nice bows. There aren’t supposed to be dangling threads like this.”

“That’s because things don’t really end unless you’re dead. This is only our beginning, Lo. Don’t worry about moving your stuff into my apartment, I’ll take care of it.”

“Move in? We already talked about this. I’m not moving in with you until next season.”

“That was before we were married. Married people don’t live in separate houses.”

“Oh no you don’t. Don’t try to play the normal card now. There’s nothing normal about us.” Maybe I should have signed those papers after all. It’s awfully convenient he brought up moving in after he burned the papers to cinders.

I can see it in his eyes, though, he’s not going to give up, but he only won this battle because I’m a possessive bastard, and I liked stamping the husband label on him. I’ll move in with him at the beginning of next season and not a moment before.

“I suppose we’ll have Mercy to contend with, too,” he says.

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