Page 40 of Ice Dance Hockey

“Head … arm under … ahhh, sorry!”

Jack races to the nearest washroom and I’m left to figure out how not to drop my brother’s son. It doesn’t help that the thing is so squirmy. Why does it have so many limbs? Now it’s staring at me. Depending on me. Shit. Its face screws up and I’ve seen what it does after that enough times to know it’s about to screech its lung out. Dear God.

Its wobbly head almost falls backward, but I catch it with my long-fingered hand. Hoping I’m holding it right, I stand up and sway it back and forth, watching how much its lip wobbles. Its eyes brim with wetness and it’s still uncertain as to whether it should cry or not.

“Buh, bah, bah, da, dum. Buh, bah, bah, da, da, dum …” The Unforgiven is the first song that comes to my head. Both his dads are Metallica fans, I’m a Metallica fan, so he’s got to be a Metallica fan, right?

I bust out the lyrics and move around in a way I hope feels like rocking to him. His eyes close and he falls asleep.

Huh. I did that. I keep singing and swaying. Even though the song is six and a half minutes long, I run out of words. I’m not sure I’m any good at singing so I switch over to my phone with something a little softer.

“How about some Goo Goo Dolls, Stanley?” I cue up Iris and play, swaying him around. “Shit,” I whisper. “Maybe don’t tell anyone I called you that. It’ll be our little secret.”

He’s out cold, and he can’t talk, so I’m probably safe. I hum along and dance with him, kinda proud of myself for putting him to sleep. His little fingers are curled around one of mine. A tug of warmth spreads through me.

“Was I ever as cute as you? If I was, how come someone couldn’t love me like they love you?”

Jack hobbles into the kitchen, his limbs heavy with relief. “Sorry about that, Lo?—”

I cut off Jack’s loud voice. “Shhhh. He’s asleep.”

Jack winces, but then his eyes glitter with a smile. “He, huh?”

Dammit. “It’s asleep,” I correct myself, but it’s too late.

“Awww, he loves big brother Logan,” Jack says quietly, his dumb dopey face peering over my shoulder.

“Brother? But I’m not biologically related to him.”

“I’m not biologically related to one of my dads at all. That doesn’t make him any less my dad.”

“Which one?”

“Not telling, but once you meet them it’s fucking obvious. Here, I can take him.”

I dance out of his reach. “Did you wash your hands?” I whisper yell.

“Of course, I did, but it looks like he’s comfortable. You cool to hold him for a bit while I finish breakfast?”

“Yeah, I think I will.” I scoff in his direction. “This child should be put down once in a while.”

Jack shrugs. “Put him upstairs in his bassinet, then.”

“I will. In a … in a minute.”

* * *

Iblink and the house is filled with people. Merc hands me a beer as promised. “Happy nineteenth, buddy.”

He cheers me with his own beer. I’ve never tried a sip of anything, even though I could have. Mom didn’t have any rules about alcohol. She didn’t encourage it either, but if I had friends to drink with, she would have probably bootlegged for us. Mom had plenty in the house, so I had access, but I wasn’t interested. It’s got seven empty calories per gram, and it inhibits sports conditioning. Didn’t seem worth it.

Merc’s studying me. “No pressure. If you don’t want to drink it, you don’t have to. I know Bryce is dying to be able to down one of those.”

“No, I want to try it.” Carefully, I crack open the can and let the carbonation hiss out. It foams over the surface, so I bring it to my lips for a hefty sip. “Blech. That’s terrible.”

He laughs. “There’s some other stuff. Try what you want. Casey’s a bartender, he’ll mix you something nice.”

Jack invited his hockey pals, claiming they were family. This house is utter madness. I don’t know where the baby went and it’s giving me anxiety. Theo’s being chased by the cats and then he chases them back. There’s a poker game happening in one room and video games in the next. Merc’s dad, Grant, is outside manning the barbeque, drinking a beer, and chatting with Ronnie Leslie, Jack’s dad, otherwise known as the captain.

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