Page 87 of From Wink to Kink

Every movement takes monumental effort. In the kitchen, I half-expect to find a note, some explanation for her disappearingact. But there's nothing. Just the empty mug I left out last night, a silent witness to my solitude.

As I go through the motions of making my coffee, my mind replays every moment of last night. The way she looked at me when she arrived, a mix of wariness and longing. The fire in her eyes when she kissed me. The softness in her voice as we lay tangled together.

Had I imagined all that? The way she fit so perfectly in my arms, like she was made to be there?

The coffee maker beeps, jolting me out of my thoughts. I pour a cup, not even tasting it as I drink. It's just something to do, a poor substitute for the conversation I'd hoped to have with Ruby.

Instead, I'm standing in my kitchen alone, nursing a lukewarm coffee and a busted ego.

My phone buzzes, and for a split second, hope flares. Maybe it's her. Maybe she just had to leave early for work, and she's texting to explain

But it's not Ruby. It's Vince.

Need statement re: Costa Rica photos. Call ASAP.

Reality comes crashing back. Right. The photos. The reason Ruby came over in the first place. Before we got... distracted.

I should call Vince back. Should start damage control, figure out how to spin this to the media. It's what a professional would do.

Instead, I find myself pulling up Ruby's contact info. My thumb hovers over the call button. What would I even say? ‘Hey, thanks for the pity sex, sorry it didn't change your mind about us’?

I toss the phone aside, disgusted with myself. This isn't me. I don't pine over women who don't want me. I don't let myself get this twisted up over anyone.

Except... Ruby isn't just anyone. She's the girl who challenges me, who makes me laugh, who sees past the hockey star facade to the real me. She's the one who makes me want to be better, not for the team or the fans, but for myself.

And now she's gone.

I need to clear my head. Need to stop obsessing over every little detail of last night, stop imagining what could have been if she’d still been here when I woke up.

I change into workout gear, lace up my running shoes. Maybe if I run far enough, fast enough, I can outpace this ache in my chest.

As I step outside, San Francisco greets me with a chilly fog. It suits my mood perfectly. I start running, no destination in mind, with the need to move, to do something other than wallow in self-pity.

But with each pounding step on the pavement, Ruby's words echo in my head.

"We're too different."

Thud.

"I'm not cut out for your world."

Thud.

"This is the last time."

Thud. Thud. Thud.

I run until my lungs burn and my legs feel like jelly. Until the fog lifts and the sun breaks through the clouds. Until I'm back at my apartment building, no closer to figuring out how to fix this mess than I was when I left.

As I catch my breath in the elevator, I make a decision. I'm not giving up. Not yet. Ruby might think we're too different, thatit could never work between us. But I know better. I've felt what we could be, seen glimpses of the future we could have together.

It won't be easy. Ruby's stubborn, set in her ways. And I'm... well, I'm me. Rough around the edges, with a past that's far from perfect. But I'm willing to work on myself, to be the man Ruby deserves.

I just need to convince her to give us a chance.

As I step back into my apartment, I'm hit again by the emptiness. The silence where Ruby's laugh should be. The blank space where her smile should light up the room.

But this time, instead of despair, I feel determination. This isn't over, not by a long shot.

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