Page 76 of From Wink to Kink

My God.

Am I falling in love?

I've spent years avoiding anything resembling commitment, using my anger and my reputation as a shield. But as I lie here, listening to her breathing, feeling her body against mine, it feels damn good.

Tomorrow will bring its own challenges, no doubt. We still have a lot to figure out. But for now, in this moment, I'm content. Because whatever happens, I know one thing for certain—getting to know Ruby Brooks made an impression on me.

It’s changed me.

38

RUBY

I siton the bed surrounded by half-packed suitcases, shopping bags of souvenirs, and the remnants of what I can only describe as the strangest week of my life. In a few hours, Chuck and I will be on our way back to San Francisco. Back to reality. And this... whatever this is with him... it'll be nothing more than a memory. A vacation fling.

The thought sends an sharp pang through my chest, which I of course ignore. Or rather, try to. I reach for my worn copy ofPride and Prejudice, my North Star of romance stories, determined to lose myself in a world where love conquers all and happily-ever-afters are as guaranteed as the morning sun.

As I read about Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's tumultuous journey to love for the umpteenth time, I can't help but draw parallels to my own situation. The misunderstandings, the smugness, the preconceptions... it's all there. But I’m not a character in a Jane Austen novel. This is real life, and in real life, the librarian doesn't end up with the hockey star.

I'm so lost in my book and swirling thoughts about the handsome Mr. Darcy that I don't hear the bungalow door open. It's only when the bed dips beside me that I realize Chuck has returned from his morning walk.

"Hey. What are you reading?"

I show him the cover, not trusting my voice.

"Ah, the old enemies-to-lovers trope. Classic," he says.

I blink, surprised. "You know about literary tropes?"

He shrugs, slightly embarrassed. "I may have done some research after our first book discussion. Wanted to be able to keep up. Show that I’m more than a dumb jock."

The admission sends a warmth through me, but I quickly squash it dead. This is exactly the kind of thing I can't let myself fall for. It's nice, sure, but it doesn't change anything.

"Ruby," Chuck says, his tone serious. "I think we need to talk. About us. About what happens when we leave here."

"There is no 'us,' Chuck," I say, hating how my cold my voice sounds. "This was... this was a fling. A vacation romance. A nice one, but it's not real."

He recoils like I've slapped him. "Not real? How can you say that? After everything we've shared..."

"What have we shared, really?" I snap, getting angry. Angry at him, at myself, at this whole ridiculous situation. "A few days of playing pretend in paradise? That's not a relationship, Chuck. That's fantasy."

"It doesn't have to be," he argues. "We could give this a shot, Ruby. See if we can make it work."

I laugh, but it comes out sounding more like a sob. "How? We're from different worlds, Chuck. You're a professional athlete. You live in a world of glamour and excitement. And I'm... I'm a librarian. How long before you get bored of me and my books?"

He reaches for me, but I pull away. "Ruby, that's not?—”

"And let's not forget about your anger issues," I continue, unable to stop now that I’m on a roll. "You said yourself you've been in trouble with the team. How do I know you won't lose your temper with me? How do I know I can trust you?"

The moment the words leave my mouth, I regret them. The hurt that flashes across Chuck's face is a knife to my heart.

Oh, why did I say that?

"Is that really what you think of me?" he asks slowly. "After everything I've shared with you, after I opened up to you... you still see me as some kind of ticking time bomb?"

I shake my head, tears filling my eyes. "I don't know what to think, Chuck. This is all so confusing. A week ago, you were just my brother's teammate. Someone I barely knew. And now... now I'm supposed to believe we have some grand romance?"

He stands up, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "It's not about believing in some 'grand romance,' Ruby. It's about believing in us. In you and me."

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