Page 18 of The Brothers Bane

“I am not my father,” I say, staring at my knuckles. I turn to Eleutheria. “I am not him,” I repeat with more vehemence. “Would that I could denounce our ties entirely, but I cannot. But I have undergone my own torture because of my blood. The best I can do is try to balance his heinous acts by doing good where I can. I had hoped serving Tartarus would help me atone, but all it has done is teach me that the gods are more capricious than ever in who they choose to sentence or let roam free. But if there is anything I am certain of, it’s that the Titans must not be allowed to.”

“It shouldn’t be your responsibility to make up for the wrong your father has done,” Eleutheria says. “You deserve freedom and happiness too. And from all the stories I have heard, you have more than earned it.”

I place my hand over hers and squeeze. “You’ve raised our daughter well, Poly,” I say, earning me a sad smile at my use of my old nickname for her.

“She’s her own woman now, and has been for a long time. Ele, why don’t you give your father a tour of the compound? He hasn’t seen it in a while. Just be back in time for the gathering tonight.”

“I will, Mother. Shall we go, Father?”

She rises and moves toward the door, and I follow, still uncertain whether I’ve earned the right for her to call me Father at all.

9

Nemea

Imake my way to the amphitheater at dusk, muscles humming with the sweet ache of exertion, my belly full of another delicious meal shared with new friends. My optimism has increased by a huge margin since this morning, though I’m still apprehensive about whether I will be ready when the time comes to help defeat the Titans. I don’t even know how long I have to prepare.

But with every new challenge, I reach deeper and deeper into my well of power, so deep I’ve become painfully aware of the fact that there is a limit. One that may find me coming up short when the time comes to perform. Those few days I spent in Tartarus showed me that with every new bond I form, my well grows deeper, but today has only shown me that it is still not deep enough.

Perhaps running away was the wrong plan. Was I a coward for making Alcides help me escape? I was able to bond with six of the guards. The other three linger in my thoughts every time I reach for my magic to use it during training. How much more will I be able to use once I’ve bonded with all of them?

Destruction wasn’t my only lesson, but it turns out it was the easiest to learn because it was something I could easily do without thinking. After breakfast, Mel took me back to the wall I blasted and made me rebuild it, brick by brick, without a single tool to help.

My knuckles are scraped and raw, my fingers blistered, but after hours of hard labor, my visit with Benedetta came back to me. She’d explained that the power of chaos wasn’t just destructive, but it took far more effort to channel it for creation.

It took an hour of concerted effort for me to recall the creative flow it took when I first crafted objects using the glass I found on the shores of Bear Island. But it turns out that using my magic to manipulate mundane materials is even more difficult than using it on the glass.

The glass, which wasn’t glass at all, but shards of Tartarus himself. Of Vesh. My affinity forhimas a medium was so much stronger than any other medium I’d tried at the school. But I still found enjoyment in all of them. So when I finally found that core of creative energy, it became easier to rebuild the wall, and by suppertime I finally completed it, down to the last spec of crushed stone merging back into a smooth, hard surface.

It tapped me, and for the first time since arriving, I’m entirely spent of magic, to the point that even my tattoo lies dormant on my skin.

The lack of worry over whether I’ll inadvertently damage my surroundings allows me to relax for once. To feel like a normal woman, just chilling with other normal women who could be friends if I stay long enough.

Good-natured chatter and laughter rings out from the slowly gathering group. The women I arrived with are still joking over a conversation we had at supper about how a particular actor we loved had played roles as both a romantic lead and a serial killer in different movies, and how the romantic lead was the scarier of the two. “So many red flags,” one woman says.

Did I miss something when Vesh came to spirit me away from the island? Actually, if I backtrack to the day I lost, those disjointed memories suggest some level of dysfunction between him and Pan. Whether it’s only about Pan’s unwillingness to return to servitude, I don’t know. The only obvious red flags were Vesh’s lies and perhaps neglect, though under the circumstances, I can’t blame him for being distracted.

None of the others can be accused of abuse, though. Only one stood in my way when I tried to leave, and Alcides ultimately took my side and helped me escape.

My attention is only half on the conversation now as I scan the growing crowd to find him. As the amphitheater fills, I’m more and more astonished at how many women live here. There are at least a hundred, and Mel wasn’t lying when she said there were no men.

I looked for Alcides at mealtimes and found him easily, usually deep in conversation with Eleutheria. I hope they’re finding some common ground, some bridge over the years they’ve lost. But a territorial urge has risen inside me. I want him back.

Maybe it’s selfish of me, especially considering I’m bound to all of them, so he has no choice but to share. But that doesn’t mean I have to share him.

I finally spy the pair descending the moss-covered stone steps. Alcides looks more relaxed compared to how he was at breakfast, and Ele is smiling. I offer my apologies to the women I’m with and meet the pair at the bottom row, heart in my throat and feeling a little shame over my wish to have Alcides to myself.

“How’d your day go?” I look between them, hoping my jealousy isn’t apparent. Ele was the first friend I made here. I’d like to keep her.

Alcides’ eyes crinkle with genuine contentment. “Ele’s shown me just how much heart she pours into this place. It’s impressive.” Pride swells in his tone, and it warms me to see this softer side of him.

We settle on the bench together, me on Alcides’ left, Ele on his other side. He continues to rattle off all the impressive things Ele shared with him today, while the abashed look on her face suggests she’s not used to such overt praise.

Meanwhile, acute inadequacy sets in deep. I try to tell myself she’s had centuries to become as awesome as she is, but that doesn’t stop my sense of shrinking into myself.

Blessedly, Hippolyta arrives, and the noise of the crowd dulls to a low murmur. She makes her entrance from above, her commanding presence silencing any remaining whispers.

In that silent moment before she speaks, Alcides’ hand brushes mine on the edge of the bench. Electricity jolts up my arm, the sensation warming me through. I glance up at his profile, but his gaze remains fixed to the front. Even as he stares at Hippolyta, he turns his hand and grazes his knuckles deliberately along the side of my bare thigh, then rests his big palm over the back of my hand, threading his fingers between mine.

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