Page 32 of The Queen's Knights

“My team was tight. We anticipated one another’s needs well during every other mission we’d been on, and there were dozens. Enough to recognize when we weren’t in sync, which was rare.

“We’d reached our target. The building was supposed to be empty except for a lab the enemy used to build chemical weapons. We were already on our way out. Our demolition tech had set the charges, the timer was ticking down with enough time for us to evacuate. It felt too easy. Like we’d forgotten a step, even though we knew better. We made it out and thought we were in the clear. That was when we heard a baby crying.”

Gwen’s sharp intake of breath twists the old knife in my gut. I look at her, and she has her hand over her mouth. Lance winces. I force myself to rally just so I can finish the story.

“But it was out of our hands by then. I tried to run back in, but my men held me back. Ten fucking seconds on the clock—not enough time to find her, but we saw her silhouetted in a third-floor window right as the charges detonated.”

“Oh god,” Gwen whispers. “Percy.” She reaches for my hand and I let her take it, squeezing back to let her know I appreciate the gesture.

“The aftermath was… infuriating. I won’t bore you with the bureaucratic bullshit. Collateral damage was within acceptable parameters. The mission was a success. But none of my team felt like we’d succeeded. Not when an innocent—twoinnocent lives were lost. We’re supposed to be protectors. True, we’d taken lives before, but always in the interest of protecting people like that woman. It took me a long fucking time to stop feeling worthless after that.

“But the worst part was that a few years later I tried to confide in someone for the first time about it. About how damaged I’d been all along. They didn’t like how much I kept to myself. I wasn’t ready to open up but didn’t see any other option if I wanted to keep them in my life. I was in love…” I look at Lance, reminded yet again of the face of the person I once believed was the love of my life, so surely they were the one person I could trust to bare my heart and soul to. “I never got an explanation when they left. They just ghosted me and I was left second guessing every decision I ever made after that.”

Gwen tightens her grip on me and I make myself look into her eyes, searching for any sign that she’s horrified by what I’ve told her, but I see nothing but concern, nothing but tenderness. It’s still difficult to take a breath.

“This was why Chloe asked you to help me, isn’t it?”

I nod. “She’s a mind reader for sure, because none of that was in my file and I never told her any of it. Maybe she investigated and learned the truth. I wouldn’t be surprised; she seems to just know what her people need.” I look at Lance. “This is why I think you need to meet her. Tell her your story. I think she can help.”

His jaw clenches and he crosses his arms. “What makes you think I need help?”

“Everyone needs a little help, but especially people like us who’ve been through trauma. Have you talked about what happened with anyone?”

He gives a jerk of his head. “It’s ancient history. Did the therapy. I’m fine. How ‘bout that cheesecake now?”

He rises, his motions too stiff and tense to play off that he’s not affected by my question. Gwen gives me a baffled look and I shake my head. I only know the broad strokes of what happened to Lance, and it isn’t my place to share. But now that I’ve unloaded my own baggage on the two of them, I suppose I feel like I’m owed some reciprocity.

Which is unfair, even though what happened to me was far more recent than what happened to Lance. Everyone heals in their own time, and healing can’t happen without a little work. I always knew I’d have to talk about it, and Ihave,but only to Navy shrinks before now, except for one other person.

Gwen and I watch as Lance flips open the plastic to-go box with the dessert inside, grabs a fork, and starts stuffing bites into his mouth right there.

“Lance. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk right now,” Gwen says in a gentle tone. “But if you don’t share that cheesecake, youwillpay for it, one way or another.”

His tension shifts and he cuts a mischievous smile her way. “Oh yeah? What’ll you do? Spank me?”

“Watch me.” She grins and slips out of bed, padding to the dresser where he stands, holding the fork with one large bite hovering in the air. They do a dance with him dodging her reach several times before she stands back and squares her shoulders.

“Do you want me to punish you in a way you reallywon’tlike?”

“Such as?” he takes another bite and gives her a challenging grin.

“Like making you watch and not allowing you to touch.” She peels her thin pajama top off over her head, then pushes her shorts down her legs.

Lance stops chewing and swallows hard, his eyes avidly scanning her gorgeous body. I get half-hard just from the view I have of her backside. It was all I could see earlier while she was riding me, and I have to say I really love that angle. I scoot back against the headboard to watch things unfold.

“Give me the cheesecake,” she commands. “And go sit next to Percy.”

Surprisingly he obeys, giving me a contrite look when he climbs onto the bed. I don’t think it has anything to do with bogarting our dessert, though.

But Gwen’s in charge now, and I doubt she’ll bargain with him to get him to tell his story; it isn’t her style to leverage sex for something that painful. I don’t consider our argument to be the same. For us, it was about honoring the trust we’ve built with each other, and about moving our relationship to the next level. It’s going to take more time for Lance to get there, and I can’t blame him for needing more time, even though I hoped he’d share tonight.

Gwen doesn’t bother putting her pajamas back on, and is delightfully naked and bearing sweets when she climbs onto the bed and kneels between us.

“Open wide,” she says, offering a large bite of cheesecake to me. I happily accept, savoring the sweet, creamy flavor while she feeds another bite to Lance.

She continues to feed us until Lance says, “What about you? You haven’t taken a bite yet.”

“There’s only one fork, and I’m not finished feeding you two.”

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