Page 29 of Claim Me

“Most definitely. I don’t think at all, and my life is much easier. You should try following your heart for a while and see how things turn out.”

“I followed my heart with Siobhan at the clubhouse. That didn’t turn out well.”

“Of course it did. She came up here, looking for a date. If you had really fucked up, Siobhan could have let you stay up here. You did good, but your dipshit brain keeps trying to derail your progress. Go with your heart. Trust in it,” Caveman says and then frowns out the front windows. “Does your heart want to stare at the spot where your mom died or is that your fucked-up head trying to replay the worst day of your life?”

“I don’t want to forget her.”

“But she lived twenty-six years before ending up on the asphalt out there. Why can’t you remember your mom at her best?” Caveman asks and then nudges me. “Isn’t there a single good memory you could be focused on instead of that road?”

“We went bowling that time with you.”

Nodding, Caveman rubs his beard and smiles. “Lorrie was a pretty good bowler. Didn’t even need the bumpers. What else was she good at?”

“She liked playing checkers and singing.”

“Did she have a good voice?”

“Yes.”

Caveman pats my chest. “That good feeling you’ve got right now is coming from your heart. It’s remembering the sweet mama you loved. Don’t let your brain hide her from you. Just like you can’t listen to it tonight when you’re with Siobhan. Just feel whatever you feel and trust it’ll work out.”

Instead of focusing on the road, I picture Siobhan at her house. I smell her in the air and remember how she said my name when I was inside her. A burden lifts off my shoulders. I’m finally able to peel my ass out of the chair after feeling stuck there for hours.

Caveman doesn’t say anything as I stretch. He sips his coffee and watches the world pass by outside. I give him a head nod before moving toward the door. Outside, I avoid looking at where my mom took her last breath.

If I can turn off my brain for the evening, I might finally get what I want.

SIOBHAN

After Natasha and Hunter return to their homes, I’m afraid to go back to mine. On edge and nervous someone will find out about the baby before I tell my family, I head to the farm. Before fessing up, I force my parents and sister to swear to secrecy.

“You know I’m telling Pork Chop, right?” Carys says as soon as the words leave my mouth.

“No,” I bark at her. “He can’t keep secrets. It’s his only flaw.”

Shrugging, she shuts up long enough for me to announce my baby news. Then, she points at me and claims, “You shouldn’t have told Indigo yet. He can’t handle so much pressure.”

“Well, now,” Dad says, stepping between us, “Indigo’s not a weakling. The man has faced plenty in life. He can handle knowing about the baby he made during a night of passion.”

Carys frowns at our father for using the word “passion” while he waits for her to complain.

Mom wraps her arms around me. “You’ve been talking about having a baby.”

“Do you think I should have kept the news from Indigo for a while longer?” I ask, clinging to her. “Hunter said honesty is a good thing, but Indigo didn’t seem happy about the baby.”

“He always looks unhappy at first. Do you remember when he first arrived at the farm? He frowned all the time, seeming miserable.”

Dad smiles at Mom and murmurs, “He sure did love your mama hugs.”

Despite my parents' upbeat response, I worry Carys is right. Except my sister tends to coddle our foster brothers.Is that the right way to handle a man I want to build a life with?

Carys later returns to our parents' house and hugs me. “I told Pork Chop,” she whispers in my ear. “I couldn’t help myself.” When I try to pull away, she adds in a sweet voice, “I know you’ve wanted another baby. I can’t think of anyone better than Indigo to be the father.”

Her supportive words make me cry. The younger foster boys just roll their eyes at my drama, having no idea that I’m fully within my rights as a woman, mother, and American to weep over my big sister’s generous heart.

I end up staying overnight at my parents’ house. My heart keeps my head awake, leaving me tired the next morning.

Breakfast does nothing to calm me down. I just keep thinking of the hundreds of times I ate breakfast with Indigo.Why didn’t my lust rev back then?

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