Page 18 of Claim Me

Hunter and Natasha cuddle with me as I stop worrying long enough to enjoy my new situation.

“I think people should be honest,” Hunter announces. “You two should have told me about Natasha’s situation when she was gone. And Bear should have admitted he was head over heels in love with Natasha instead of acting like it was their duty to get married. And Tack didn’t ask Indigo about his feelings for a long time. Everyone is so afraid of other people’s reactions, that they hide the truth. Let’s stop doing that.”

“Do you think Indigo can handle hearing about the baby?” I ask her since decision-making feels too difficult right now. “Maybe I can just visit him without mentioning it.”

“No, drive up to the hills and make him face you. Talk to him about what happened. Then, tell him you’re pregnant. Don’t let him hide. He wants you, Siobhan. He has for a long time. Indigo is his own worst enemy. You need to be smart about the things he struggles with. If he hides, you have to choose to face things.”

“What if he yells at me?”

“He loves you,” Hunter says and kisses my temple. “He is so lonely, and he has all these dreams for himself, but he doesn’t know how to make them real. Or he doesn’t think he deserves for them to become real. But we know he’s wrong. Indigo is our friend. He’s family. We need to help him. And by helping him, we can make your life easier.”

“You’re so sexy when you’re bossy,” Tack murmurs to Hunter who smiles.

I hug her and sigh. “Tack’s right. You’re especially hot when you bully people into doing the obviously smart thing.”

“It is obvious.”

“But what if Siobhan doesn’t end up loving Indigo like he loves her?” Bear asks because he’s a negative person and immediately zeroes in on problems. “Indigo wouldn’t let her date. She has been alone for a long time. She might only feel desperate right now.”

Scowling at him, I mutter, “Hey, jackass, I can hear you.”

“I know, but I’m serious. What if Indigo gets his hopes up, but you can’t give him what he wants? How does a man survive that?”

“Too much pressure,” I mumble and hide my face against my knees. “I should wait a few weeks or months until I’m sure how I feel about everything.”

“No,” Hunter says and rubs my back. “You’re bound to obsess until you know. Just go see him and explain how you’re confused about things, but the baby is real, and you want him to know. No matter what happens next, you’re not alone in this. You have us and your parents.” Hunter looks at Tack and asks, “Indigo isn’t alone, either, right? Like he isn’t up in the hills by himself, is he?”

“Caveman keeps him focused on other people, so he doesn’t get stuck in his head. He’ll be okay.”

I look at my friends and ask, “Will you come with me? Just in case, he goes nuts or runs away?”

“Of course. We’ll bring the kids to see Tangina,” Natasha says. “They’ve never met a house pig before.”

For the first time in weeks, I feel unburdened by guilt. I’ve been pretending to be calm this whole time, yet Indigo marked me when we made love. I both crave and fear him. I need to know what happens next, so I can own my choices again.

INDIGO

After my first week at his house, Caveman gives me a room with a bed and space to keep Grumpy and Sleepy. My dogs wake me up before the kids do. I’m usually outside on the back porch when they show up.

Caveman is around off and on all day. The kids attend school. I’m on my own a lot, but I feel better with my dogs around. Grumpy doesn’t like the new location. He lives up to his name except for when I take the dogs for walks. They get so excited about exploring the woodlands.

I feel detached from my life. I even start believing Siobhan and I never slept together. It was all a lonely man’s wet dream.

Aunt Fred and Elvis visit me. They don’t mention Siobhan. I can tell Aunt Fred is worried. She hugs me a lot. I feel more like myself with her arms around me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

After the second week, Noble rides up to ask if I plan to stay in the hills for good. He seems quietly irritated when I tell him how I don’t know what’s going to happen.

“If you’re on vacation, that’s fine. Nothing needs to be done. But if you think you’re staying here for good, we need to adjust what patch you wear. Other guys will need to pick up your jobs in the city.”

Even knowing I’m letting down my VP and club, I can only mutter, “I don’t know what I want.”

“If that changes, you can’t keep it a secret. Zoot is agitated. He thinks you’re on vacation and yells at anyone who says differently. So, if you plan to stay here, we’ll need to adjust his thinking in a way that doesn’t lead to bloodshed.”

Noble isn’t joking. Zoot’s a tough man to maneuver. He’s scary when angry but even more terrifying when worried.

After Noble leaves, I consider what I want to happen next. I feel comfortable in the hills, but I know I’m hiding. I stay at the house with the kids and animals. Dot checks on me every day, just like she did after my mom died and the state found a good home for Bubby.

Everyone worries I might kill myself. I don’t need them to spell out their concern. For all of Caveman’s blunt talk, he never admits how people say my mom jumped in front of the bus. Her deathis treated like an accident. The lie isn’t told to preserve her memory but to protect my sanity.

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