Page 93 of Claim Me

“Do you want me to throw him out?” Tack asks, joining me near the bar.

“It’s my brother,” I reply.

Tack frowns at Bubby who responds by seeming nervous. I sometimes forget how intimidating my club family can appear to outsiders.

“Maybe you can take him into a back room to talk,” Tack suggests. “Can’t say shit out here.”

I gesture for Bubby to follow me. He hesitates and looks at the woman. She gives him the same encouraging nod that Siobhan gives me when I don’t know if I should leave her side.

My chest hurts as I walk through the partying people. I don’t see them. I feel detached from the world around me. Am I in shock?

Once inside a room across from where I made my son, I close the door and look around. I’m glad the place doesn’t stink of sex. Bubby never glances around, instead staring at me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your message years ago,” he says in a calm voice disconnected from his nervous demeanor. “I was still trying to figure things out.”

Shrugging, I shove my hands inside my pockets and feel like a kid rather than a grown man with his own children. Siobhan’s face flashes in my mind. I feel her with me, saying whatever happens right now won’t define me. If Bubby hurts me tonight, I can go home to her and heal.

“Figure what things out?” I ask, calmer now with Siobhan in my thoughts.

Bubby mimics me by shoving his hands in his pockets. “I won’t claim I had a bad life. I know you had it worse. But those people who took me in and rejected you weren’t easy to live with. They twisted me up for a long time. Since I’ve cut them out of my life, I can see things clearer now.”

“What things?”

“How they lied about you and tried to make me forget who I was,” Bubby says, wearing a pained expression. “They told people I was orphaned as an infant. They got me thinking how you weren’t my brother, as if I remembered wrong. After a while, I started thinking maybe I hadn’t known Lorrie or you. It’s difficult to explain.”

“You were little when you went to live with them.”

“I missed you,” he says, staring at the floor. “I asked about you. At first, they said you didn’t want to see me. Then, they said you had died. When I got older, they said you’d abused me, and that’s why I wasn’t allowed to see you. It wasn’t just one lie. They lied so much about so many things. I grew up unsure about what was true.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“Not physically. They’re weird people. Unhappy, I guess is the right word. I think they resented how they couldn’t have kids but someone like Lorrie could. They worried I’d turn out like her, so they twisted me up until I wasn’t sure who she was.”

“I’m sorry they were shitty,” I say, unsure why he’s here.

“I met Cathy when I moved to Virginia,” he says, glancing in the direction of the bar top. “She instantly disliked my parents. I’d never heard anyone say anything negative about them. I know it might seem strange to believe a grown man could be so brainwashed. But I was a scared child. I didn’t understand what happened to Lorrie or you. I wasn’t sure what was real, so I trusted my parents even when I knew they were lying. But Cathy saw right through them. Once she opened my eyes, I realized I wasn’t always Bobby. At one point, with you and Lorrie, I’d been Bubby.”

My chest hurts when I consider the night we first stayed with Caveman. We had a chance to turn our lives around and remain together. I felt so much hope. I didn’t understand my mom was damaged. I thought she was just sad and poor. Once we got help, she could be happy and make good choices.Except life isn’t that easy.

“You’re still Bubby to me,” I mumble. “I just see my little brother.”

When his face pinches, I don’t feel like I’m looking at a stranger. He’s suddenly the kid who trusted me when I promised I could protect him.

“Cathy and I decided to elope and have our honeymoon here,” Bubby explains. “I wanted to reach out after what happened with Hunter Knutsen. I saw you in those videos. You look so much like I remembered. You were real, and I wanted to know you. But I was afraid to reach out after I ignored your message. Plus, the media was bothering you, and I didn’t want to seem like a parasite.”

Bubby tugs his hands out of his pockets and shrugs. “Then, I saw what those cops did to you. I heard you had a baby on the way. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d missed so much.”

“You’re a lawyer,” I mumble, worried trusting Bubby could put the club in danger.

“Criminal defense. I’m not a narc.”

I smirk at his comment, making him chuckle. His nose scrunches up just like Lorrie’s used to when she would laugh. My heart hurts at how I’ll never feel my mom’s arms around me again. Even after two decades, I long for what only she could give me.

“You have a son,” Bubby says.

“I have two sons. I’ve taken in a boy named Glen and his sister, Nora.”

“Like you were taken in by Caveman and his sister, Dot.”

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