Page 66 of Claim Me

“How are the twins doing at school?” Natasha asks. “Are you still planning to have them moved after the holidays?”

“No, as I expected, they got the hang of spending their school days apart. Now they both like their teachers and classes. They’d still rather play together, so they’re allowed to huddle up at recess. Now, my babies love school.”

“I sense you’re bothered by something,” Hunter says. “You’re not good at hiding your pain or confusion or worries or anger.”

“Well,” I whine dramatically, “Idohave stuff I’m working through, but now isn’t the time to focus on it.”

My friends watch me with unflinching gazes. I glance around and realize everyone’s in their separate groups, chatting leisurely, completely uninterested in my drama.

“It’s just something Caveman said about those kids. It can wait.”

“Does he want you to take them in?” Natasha asks.

“Of course.”

“Why you?” Hunter asks, gesturing for someone to bring a chair so I can sit with them instead of lingering behind Natasha.

I settle down next to my friends and feel guilty. “This isn’t a good topic for your party.”

“What else would we be talking about?”

“Shouldn’t there be games?”

Natasha brushes her knuckles across my cheek. “Siobhan, this isn’t that kind of baby shower. There’ll be no guessing my weight or other games. We’ll simply eat expensive food and share each other’s company. All the fun stuff is happening outside.”

I hear the sadness in Natasha’s voice. She wants to be outside with Jacinda and Hector. I’m sure she has people recording their fun, but it’s not the same.

“Tell us what you’re thinking about these kids,” Hunter insists. “Entertain us with your problems.”

After a moment, I admit, “I feel like a monster for not immediately taking them in.”

Hunter quickly hits me with logic. “You have a right to choose your family size.”

“It’s not that I don’t like them. But I’m used to putting the twins before everything else. I’m already nervous about juggling a baby and my girls.”

“Why is this even a consideration?” Hunter asks. “Why is Caveman pushing you to take on this responsibility?”

“Indigo grew attached to them when he stayed at Caveman’s place. The kids like him, too.”

“Has Indigo indicated he wants them to move to your home?”

“I’m confused,” Natasha says and smiles at arriving guests before lowering her voice and asking, “Do they have living parents?”

“Yes, but their parents aren’t capable of taking care of them.”

“What does your heart say?”

Shrugging, I can’t admit what I’m thinking. My friends refuse to look away. Their gazes act as truth serum.

“You know my mom and dad are awesome. They never seemed frazzled from having foster boys arriving all the time. That’s what seems normal to me. But I get frazzled by change. Indigo doesn’t mind me acting weird because he’s so happy to finally get what he wants. And this baby won’t notice I’m frazzled. But these kids are old enough to understand when I’m fucking up. And I don’t know if I’m a good enough mom to handle five kids.”

“Is that the real reason or do you notwantto be a mom of five kids?” Hunter asks. “Your parents wanted to take in foster kids. They didn’t feel pressured to do so.”

“That’s all true. I guess I fear I’ll take the kids into my home, and they’ll get attached to Indigo, the twins, and me. I can get them in school and we can find a routine. But what if it’s too much for me? What if the house feels too crowded and I flip out?”

Natasha takes my hand. “What if you only keep them part-time for a while? Do you have to make this life-changing decision when you’re still getting to know them?”

“I don’t want to fail.”

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