Page 65 of Tight End

Not only is she going to be blowing me up, but I’m going to have so many messages across multiple platforms. I can’t tell you how many unanswered messages I have from men and women who don’t know either of us on a personal level but feel the need to give me their opinion on ourrelationship. Some people are supportive and some are overwhelmingly not. I actually think I prefer the messages asking me for details on Ryan’s dick over those. At least thosepeople are straightforward, and while the question is invasive, it’s not insulting.

Fuck my life. Seriously.

Is it possible for this to be the best day and the worst day at the same time?

Since Ryan started posting on his own socials and making appearances in mine, the studio has been on an upward trajectory. I’m no longer worried about paying rent next month, and after this session with the football team, I imagine my classes are going to fill exponentially.

He’s potentially given me my dream job.

But he’s also pissed me off so much, I can’t see straight.

Especially when my family finds out what’s going on. My mom is going to flip her shit. Not only has she not had the pleasure of meeting Ryan, but starting them off on even rockier ground isn’t going to be good for anyone. She was overly nice and supportive last week, and I have a feeling that it’s about to run out.

My dad’s no help. He thinks Ryan invented football with the way he talks about him. I bet he’s already planning the wedding. Not that I’m going to tell Ryan that. He doesn’t need to know anyone is on his side. Whatever side that is.

He’s probably plotting his next moves right now. He’s across the room, whispering to Gunner and Theo, and has been since class ended about five minutes ago. The rest of the team left, but not these three.

Kinsley is over the moon. No surprise there. She’s turned the music up and has been flitting around the room, picking up mats, wiping things down, and doing her best to shake her hips. It’s impressive, and if the looks Theo keeps sneaking her way are any indication, it’s working.

I’m happy for her, but I’m also annoyed at ... well, everything.

“Thanks for the class, June.” Gunner gives me a wave, and I can only hope he’s taking Ryan with him.

“Anytime. Seriously, I appreciate everything you guys are doing for me.” I grab my water bottle from the floor and toss my towel over my shoulder.

He smirks at me, his gaze moving between Ryan and me. “We’re all family here. It’s the least we could do for the future Mrs. Devlin. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you at the poker game later.”

He’s poking the bear. I know he’s poking the bear, but it still irritates me. Kinsley and Poppy may be enamored with these guys, but I can’t see the appeal. Okay, I don’t want to see the appeal. “I can’t say I’ve played poker, but it sounds fun. Thanks again. Ryan, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you later.”

“Let me walk you guys out.” Kinsley tosses me a look, one that’s distinctly telling me to lighten up. She’s about to be disappointed.

It’s not that Ryan’s not a good guy—he is. Obviously he cares about me and about making sure this studio is a success, but is it actually for me? Or is it because I’m Oliver’s mom? In all those articles he’s surrounded by women—hell, they all are. So why me? I’m nothing special. I’m convenient.

I spent years being with Paul because he was convenient and vice versa. Years wasted with someone who liked the thought of me, who asked me to marry him because it was the next logical step. We were about to walk down the damn altar when I found out he was really gay and was in love with his best friend. I was humiliated. Hurt. And so blinded to what was really going on around me, I didn’t realize what was right in front of my face.

It took me a few weeks to realize I was never in love with him. I settled.

And I refuse to put myself in that position again, refuse to enter a relationship with someone who wants me only because we’re living under the same roof.

Funny enough, we might have spent only one night together, but during that time he taught me to want more. He showed me what it could be like if I didn’t settle. I want all that with the right person.

But what if you found him?

I push those thoughts from my head and close my eyes, swaying to Teddy Swims’s “Lose Control.” There’s one man who makes me lose control, who makes me want to throw caution to the wind, to take risks, to live outside the box I’ve put myself in. He could also make me lose myself.

That scares me more than anything.

And when things go south, he’ll realize I was someone to pass the time with, nothing more. I’ll be discarded, cast aside, but I won’t have the chance to hide, lick my wounds, and become a stronger person. No. I’ll have to see him day in and day out because we have a kid together. I’ll have to see him move on, forget about me ... leave me behind.

There’s a current in the air, an awareness buzzing across my skin. I don’t know what it is. It doesn’t make any sense, but I know I’m not alone.

He’s here.

“Damn, Princess, that was brutal.” His voice is deep, rough like each word physically pained him to get out, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I jump, whirling around, my fingers tightening around the plastic bottle too hard, and I’m surprised I haven’t popped off the cap.

Ryan stalks toward me, wiping the sweat from his brow, his gaze burning into me. My heart jumps in my throat, and I swallow it down like a bitter pill. I can’t do this. I can’t get sucked into his orbit.

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